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Original poster

How do I turn this down?

22 replies

HoobleDooble · 20/02/2017 22:46

I've been invited out with a group of friends, we don't see each other very often, but get on well and we usually have a great time when we get together. The issue is, the event is one of those 'ladies evenings' at a local restaurant, with 'butlers in the buff'. I can't stand this sort of thing and think they wouldn't be so keen if it was their DHs going out to be served by topless young women. How do I get out of this without unintentionally insulting them?

OP posts:
Catzpyjamas · 20/02/2017 22:49

Aren't you busy that night?
Or just be honest and thank them for the invitation but sorry, it's not your kind of thing.

ferriswheel · 20/02/2017 22:50

That would have been great but I've just realised I've bla bla bla...hopefully catch you next time. Have fun.

And then definitely don't be persuaded to go.

HerOtherHalf · 20/02/2017 22:50

Just be honest and say it's not your cup of tea.

hoddtastic · 20/02/2017 22:50

i always say that i am a joyless harridan and would hate anything like that but knock yourselves out and i'll catch you another time. I do this if it's a movie or a show I don't want to see or a restaurant I don't fancy too.

HerOtherHalf · 20/02/2017 22:52

Can't think of anything more off putting than having someone's bare arse a few feet from my face when tucking into my sticky toffee pudding tbh.

Wolfiefan · 20/02/2017 22:53

You say that'd put you right off your food. Pubic hair in the soup anyone?
You'll go next time. If the waiters have actual clothing between their meat and two veg and your plate full! Grin

Original poster
HoobleDooble · 20/02/2017 22:55

I think I'm going to just be honest and say I don't like that sort of thing. If I lie and say I'm busy, I'm bound to forget and drop myself in it. I think they'll probably be shocked as I'm the loudest, crudest and most unladylike out of us all, so they probably think it's something I'd enjoy!

OP posts:
GreyStars · 20/02/2017 22:55

Just tell them the truth, I can't think of anything worse personally and feel it would be disrespectful to my partner.

For me I would just say:

Sorry It's just not my cup of tea, but hope you all have fun. Very much like to join you on the next night out.

And if pushed, I'd tell them that as it would be a deal breaker for me if my partner went to something like that with half naked women it would be hypocritical of me to do the same.

If other people are ok with that in their relationships then fair play to them, but I'm not and I don't think DP would be either so I just wouldn't go.

MrsHathaway · 20/02/2017 22:56

"Oh no, I'd be so embarrassed. You go, and tell me all about it afterwards."

It sounds hideous tbf.

BrownEyedLady · 20/02/2017 22:57

You'll probably just be with your friends most of the night with the occasional (cringy) interruption from the nearly-nude waiters. Depends how high your cringe threshold is versus how much you want a night out with your mates.

Dontlaugh · 20/02/2017 22:58

Don't you have to go to a funeral that day?

Original poster
HoobleDooble · 20/02/2017 22:58

Going to copy and paste her other half into my reply GrinGrin

OP posts:
BackforGood · 20/02/2017 23:01

I'd be honest too. Just say that it's really not my cup of tea but hope those who went had a good time and I'd see them at the next 'do'.

Original poster
HoobleDooble · 20/02/2017 23:02

It definitely not a case of me being embarrassed, just find it disrespectful to my DH. Plus, we're all in our 40s and these men will be approximately my DS's age. Kind of feels wrong to be shrieking and cackling at them.

OP posts:
normastits5 · 20/02/2017 23:07

Yep I'm with you op , cringeville

MrsHathaway · 20/02/2017 23:11

Embarrassed at them, I meant. Cackling and leering, when you're averting your eyes and wishing yourself miles away.

CondensedMilkSarnies · 20/02/2017 23:11

Yes just tell the truth, it's easier in the long run. I'm now in my early 50's and have decided I'm now mature enough to not do anything I don't want to. As a result I 'came out' to my wine buff friend that i can't drink expensive wine any more- I don't care if it's Chateau Twat du Pip and cost £50 a bottle , I don't like it. She now makes sure she's got a stock of Cheapo Liebfraumilch for when I visit Grin.

I'm with you Op - I wouldn't like my other half to go to an evening like this so I wouldn't go myself.

AnyFucker · 20/02/2017 23:14

I have been in this situation a couple of times

My H going to a strip club would be a deal breaker for, so I do not partake in the sex industry myself

I just say "not my thing, thanks all the same"

AnyFucker · 20/02/2017 23:14

For me

Original poster
HoobleDooble · 21/02/2017 16:15

Thanks for the replies everyone. I went for honesty and just answered "not my kind of thing, but would love to go on a 'normal' night", and got the response of "When are you free?". Sorted! Smile

OP posts:
Catzpyjamas · 21/02/2017 17:48

Perfect. Honesty was definitely the best policy. Smile

AnyFucker · 21/02/2017 17:49

Always best to go for the direct and honest approach

Telling even white lies gets you into ever escalating pickles

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