I am in a controlling relationship my husband calls the shots for everything . We had two children together before I had enough of things and had an affair. We tried to work through things with the exception I give up on going out anywhere alone, lost all contact with friends and agreed to do as he said. I was scared and feeling guilty for what I had done so I agreed to all. We went in to have another baby but he pushed me to a breakdown and I left him but he wouldn't let me have the children. I agreed at the time it was best they stay in their home with their friends nearby. I came back to watch my kids while my husband went to work but he's running the whole guilt trip on me that I'm a bad mum for giving up on the marriage and how I left the kids. He uses the kids to get me stay and gets in my head to the point I had another breakdown because he's forcing me to stay with him when I don't love him. Am I a bad mum if I leave them in a solid home where they have everything they need? Although I left my husband for one night he couldn't cope but he won't let me take them. I feel I'm stuck in a dead end and I have to pretend I love him and I'm happy with him because he's made me feel so bad about myself I've ended up broken and depressed and on tablets. What do I do if I leave again he'll only get nasty with the kids and won't let me take them away from him?