I will try and explain as simply as I can as it's a long story! My husband and I met when we were 19 and started dating - very quickly went down hill and I discovered he was having an affair - I faught for him for my own self esteem but then realised I was so unhappy and was ready to move on - I then discovered I was pregnant and had to face the biggest decision of my life so far. I decided to keep the baby and he eventually said he would stick by me - since then he has turned into the most wonderful father and husband I have no complains about him he's supportive and gives everything 110% I trust him completely and he has really proved him self. We went on to have another baby and get married. Now our children are 6 and 3 and I am feeling trapped, suffocated and like I want to run away from it all. I've never really felt the connection between us like I did with my first love who I have never really let go of... I realise many people feel like this and I don't know if it's just that I am suffering with anxiety and depression which may be distorting my feelings. I long to fancy him and to love him like he loves me but I can't seem to. I don't want to sleep with him yet I find my self having an urge to sleep with other people. I feel stuck and can't bare the thought of breaking up the family home and doing that to my children. (I am an only child and my parents split up a year ago and my dads had another baby with his new partner etc etc etc I have a lot going on which explaines why I am unable to cope at the moment) just wondered if anyone had any advice?