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Original poster

2 under 2?

34 replies

doingbetter · 09/02/2017 16:38

Looking for some advice. Currently have 1 dc who is 8 months. We are thinking about trying for a second asap, so I would possibly have 2 under 2 by my own choice. I have no support (family or friends) other than my partner who works full-time. I would have the option of putting the first into childcare for at least half a day as soon as they are 1. Am I being ridiculous thinking I can manage with 2 under 2? Or should I give myself (and my body!) more time? Im early 30's but don't want to wait too long as have some small fertility niggles and although I am currently only thinking of having two children I would like to at least have the option to have more if I changed my mind.
So wwyd, would you go ahead with trying for a second or would you wait?

TIA

OP posts:

Jooni · 09/02/2017 17:47

There are pluses and minuses to every age gap. You would cope fine I'm sure because you'd have to! Like a lot of things in life.

I haven't got 2 under 2 yet but will have when DC2 arrives in June. We wanted to condense the financially tight baby years as much as possible. But I can see the benefits of waiting as well. Do whatever you think is best for your family.

NickyEds · 09/02/2017 17:52

I have a 19 month gap and love it. First 6 months were hard (no family help, no nursery/childcare)but now they're 19 months and 3 it's great!

Love51 · 09/02/2017 17:54

When I went back to work after #2 I was paying 2x full fees. No funded hours. Luckily I had savings, and only worked 2.5 days. But it's financially harder than you might anticipate.
I really enjoyed the second mat leave, seeing loads of #1. Now she's in school, I miss her on my days off work!

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weegiemum · 09/02/2017 18:08

i had 2 almost exactly 2 years apart (1 year, 11 months and 28 days!!), but then another 22 months later, so 3 under 4. I was also very ill with pg3 and afterwards, had dh working full time + on calls and no family close by (though mil was great at coming to help when she could).

It was hard, hard going but ultimately worth it, though I did have pnd. It got the baby stages out of the way all at once, and we did some crazy things when they were tiny, including a holiday in Central America where we went backpacking - with dd2 actually in a backpack on me and everything else in dh's pack!

I used free hours at the local nursery as the got older and had a mothers help, who came twice a week to do housework, look after the dc and give me a break, usually to sleep!

Now they're huge teenagers, 17, 15 and 13, are either best friends or worst enemies - pretty much like when they were toddlers! I'm glad I had them close together.

eddiemairswife · 09/02/2017 18:15

I managed it fine. No parents or in-laws within 100 miles and husband teaching. 15 months apart, so eldest still had 2 decent naps a days, and youngest fed well and slept between feeds. I had never been a particularly maternal type, but did want several children. Went on to have 2 more before the eldest was 6.
Reading people's experiences on here I realised how lucky I have been. All fed well and slept 3 to 4 hours between feeds from birth, so no sleep deprivation. And cloth nappies and no washing machine until pregnant with 3rd.

frogsgoladidahdidah · 09/02/2017 18:44

I had two under two. Loved it so, I did it again 3 years later!

(We are very tired, the house is a mess BUT we are very happy!)

Original poster

doingbetter · 09/02/2017 19:31

My partner is very supportive, so I would at least have that. However his hours are long so I can really only count on that support at the weekends. Twins had not crossed my mind!! But that would be a game changer for sure…I'm glad I posted now- lots of food for thought! I reckon we could manage it and still be together by the end of it...
I love the fact that pp said they travelled with theirs. I would love to do something similar but not sure I have the guts..

OP posts:

Gildedcage · 09/02/2017 19:43

I had 3 under 4. It's been great. Totally great. It seemed easier for me than people who had bigger gaps. There are pros and cons of course. But I loved it and I'm so glad we did it this way. Whatever you decide will be hard work.

IndigoSister · 09/02/2017 20:09

I did 2 under 2 on purpose (17 months apart). Living in a foreign country so no family support. DS1 also has special needs. It was completely manic but we did it and they are both really close (now teens). Both myself & DH worked full time, I had 3 months maternity leave. I was 31 when I had DS1.

I was always of the mindset that if I was doing 1 nappy then I may as well be doing 2. It truly was manic and I look back now and wonder how we did it but we also had loads of fun.

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