Esa stopped. Struggling

[HowTheFuckDoIDoThis]

I was initially placed in the support group for esa. After 1 year i was called for another medical. My mental health had worsened since my first claim. Meds had been increased etc. When i first got esa, i wasnt even on medication!

My esa was stopped on the claims that i am fit for work. I am fit for work, but limited. I have a part time job, which i have worked so hard to get myself there and stay there. It has been an ongoing struggle!
I had this when i first claimed, too.
They claim i am fine with changes in routine - which i am not. They claimed that i was because i was able to cope with the public transport being delayed, even though i did not.cope and suffered panic attacks etc...they just didnt see this when it happened as they werent there!

They believe i am fit for work, even though i cannot travel on my own. They commented that they believe i would have difficulties in this area, along with the social side of things. Yet, still say i am capable. I really am not.

Im now in the position of where i have had to sign on with JSA, who are pushing me to take another job with better hours as my current one doesnt make up to 16 hours.
I feel like a dick when im going in and saying there is a job 7 miles away, but i cant get there etc. I also have to go to the JC accompanied. I dont sleep the night before, or after due to the stress and worry of it all.
Yet ESA dont believe that finding another job would be detrimental to my health.
I have been referred to a psychiatrist by my GP as my mental health deteriorates without any external stressors at times. So you can imagine just what this is doing to me!

I am going to appeal but im really struggling to cope with the current circumstances with the JSA.

How they can agree that i cant travel alone, but can say i am capable at the same time baffles me.

I cant exactly have someone accompany me to work everyday. The place i am working at now is a place i have been going to for over 15 years. Its not a new place for me, the people in there arent new to me.

The route i have to walk to get there is in my small comfortable-ish distance. I can walk alone to it, but need to be on the phone to someone i know, otherwise i freak out, panic and sometimes have to go back home.

I will be appealing but im constantly worrying that during this time i might get even worse. I have worked so hard to get to where i am now. They dont realise this is knocking me back down. I am so chuffed with myself that i have been able to actually work, even if its limited. Knowing i may be forced out of that or given a course or job by the job center which would ultimately result in my money being stopped due to me being unable to do it!

Im considering applying for PIP but i dont know if its worth it.

My health issues at the minute are chronic depression and chronic anxiety, hypomania and vitamin d deficiency.
I also suffer from anorexia.

Im being sent to a psychiatrist to see if i have bipolar disorder.

All of this is just making me ill. I dont know what to do, or how to do it. I guess im hoping someone has been in a similar position and came out of it positively

how of you would like some practical benefit advice please feel free to PM me. Very outing but I am a mental health advisor specialising in welfare benefits

Have no advice but just wanted to send hugs
I hope you can get support to keep current job. At least that way you maintain ability to get yourself to and from work.

The anxiety, and panic attacks that you are dealing with, and managing to only just keep at bay by calling a friend while on the way to work sound horrible.

Well done for getting this far and best wishes xxoo

Sorry to hear you're having such a shit time of it 💐
Do you have children? Are you a lone parent?
How many hours do you currently do?
Sorry for all the questions!
Hopefully Hogwarts will be giving you some good advice (the poster^ rather than the place itself!) 🙂

Hogwarts is the answer to EVERYTHING. (The place)

You can sign in to JSA and then sign off sick for a few weeks (cent remember the limit) but this could buy you some breathing space while you appeal?

Please apply for pip. I was in your position and then I was awarded higher mobility on pip and it changed my life.

I would apply for PIP.

Thank you all. I have applied for pip, just waiting for the form to come so i can fill it in.
Im also doing the appeal form for esa today.

I think you can go on the sick at JSA for 13 weeks. I will get a sick note for next week.

I am a lone parent of 3 boys. Aged 6, 8 and 12. I currently work 7 and a half hours a week. Its not much, but i honestly dont believe i could cope with more.
It has took me years to get to this point.
I would love to be able to work full time and i wish they would understand that i am doing everything i can to try and get myself well enough to do that.

Hogwarts, i will apply haha. I will message you later on when i have more time if you dont mind? Im off to work in a minute

Yes please do

Sorry you're having to go through this
The whole process is so demeaning and stressful. I'm just at the beginning of applying for pip but dreading the assessment - I think it's especially tough going when you have a variable invisible illness.
Benefits and work website is very good too. But I'm sure hogwarts will have some great advice.
Good luck. Out of interest did you get your Esa assessment recorded?

Have you done the mandatory reconsideration yet?
Once your appeal has been lodged you will be able to receive ESA on a lower rate.
Hopefully the appeal works out for you.

It did for me, the assessor lied on my decision, said I walked nearly half an hour to school when school is only a minute walk at most!

Sorry i havent been back. It all got too much. Ive kept putting the forms off. My dad and sister have been asking repeatedly if ive done them yet.

My time is running out. I looked at the esa appeal form and ticked a few boxes. Got distracted and that was it. Ive looked at it today and decided to get the pip form on the go instead. I did a bit of that, but my hand ended up in too much pain i stopped. I then went back to it but decided to fill in the questions needed for the psychiatrist appointment.
Looking now i can see im just distracting myself from doing them and avoiding at all costs!
Ive got no hope of welfare or cab helping me as i dont have enough time on my hands left to wait for an appointment.

Argh

Im feeling like just ..."fuck it" id rather have nothing.
But...realistically i know i cant live on nothing, nor can i live without suffering on JSA

You've got to get this sorted for the sake of your 3 boys. Try and set yourself some realistic goals re the paperwork and stick to them.

How about 10 minutes on the forms, then a 20 minute break. 10 minutes on the forms, 20 minute break, until they are finished?

That sounds good. What do i write in the reasons for appeal though. What i said wasnt good enough for the assessment. I also have no idea how to put it into the best wording.

I never use to have this much difficulty filling things in 😥😣

It's OK, you can do it. You know all of the information (you know your health better than anyone), so it's just a question of getting it all in the right order.

Start by ignoring the form (just for a few minutes) and looking at the decision you have. Make a bullet-point list of all the ways the original assessor got things wrong, and back up your position with a fact or some evidence (E.g. "My assessment said that I can cope with changes in routine. This is incorrect. Even minor changes in routine, such as public transport delays, causes me serious stress, anxiety and to suffer from panic attacks.") You've done this in your OP, so you can do it on the form

Then look at the form, work out what you think the question is really asking, and make some bullet points for each answer in pencil or on the computer. Then you can build the bullet points up into full sentences

When you've finished your bullet points, spent a while thinking about any other information that might be relevant - even if you have to shoe-horn it in, it's really important that they have a full picture. I'd also definitely message Hogwarts, from what I've seen, she's magic.

And definitely try to be assertive at the Job Centre - if you find it hard, maybe try writing your position down on a piece of paper so you can give it to the advisor to read. You don't want the JC to think that you are capable of working, so you really need to try to be honest with them. Very best of luck.

Thank you. I will try that. Oh yes i will message hogwarts too!
As for the JC i tried handing in a sick note and they said they cant accept it since ESA claim that i am fit for work. Thankfully my advisor seems very understanding. She has just been signing my book with me even admitting i hadnt looked for a job one week. She has put me down for one week email contact and going to sign on on my pay week. She even booked my last appointment in when she wasnt signing people on at that time as i couldnt have anyone take me later on. So ive hit lucky with her i think and couldnt ask for a better one!

Check and see if your gp has a welfare /benefits advisor. Ours do and she's coming out to see me to help me with my pip application. I phoned the pip team and they have agreed an extension to the deadline.