I have a friend I met through an anti-natal group and we've grown quite close over the past five years. The thing is - I often feel disrespected by her. She has OCD, which I feel I am very accommodating about, but it means she likes to be in control of when and where we meet.
Today we were supposed to be meeting at a soft play centre with a mutual anti-natal friend, but she text me an hour before the meet-up time to say - Can we come round to her house instead? Then another text came through shortly after saying the mutual friend has agreed to meet at her house. So I feel obliged to meet there also, as the mutual friend will be getting the bus there. My daughter was very disappointed as she was excited about soft play. This is normal for my friend - she often changes plans, locations and timings via text at the last minute.
Whilst at her house I am always on egg-shells about making sure my kids don't get to roudy, or drop crumbs or drink on the (wipeable) floor or rug. If they do those things, she huffs and gets a bit arsey. She put her baby to bed during the visit, which comes with the expectation that we keep the kids relatively quiet. This is really difficult - I have a 15 month old and a 4 year old.
On the way out, whilst getting my eldest ready, my youngest was flapping her letter box. She huffed at this and said (in a stressy voice) "No don't do that!". He left the letter box open, so she asked our mututal friend's child to close it, then moaned "Not like that!" when it banged. I then got dirty looks because it was my child who left it open and caused noise.