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Original poster

Child has invited themselves to DD birthday party

47 replies

happybeeisgoingcrazy · 12/01/2017 20:55

My DD is having a birthday party. It's a very "girly" party and when we asked who she wanted to invite she gave us a list of girls names. Because of the type of party we needed numbers by 8pm last night. It's not one that I could just squeeze someone in if they turned up without RSVP and this was made clear on the invitation. Of the 10 invitations that went out we had 9 RSVP and numbers were booked. At 9am this morning I got a text say A CHILD will be attending. A CHILD was not on our list and DD is adamant she never gave him an invitation. Everything is booked and I can't squeeze him in even if I wanted to. I don't know what to do. I have visions of this poor little boy turning up and me having to turn him away or have him stay and realising that it's all nail polish and make up. How do I word it so as not to offend. His mother has been known to play the race card every time her child is not included in things. What would you do?

OP posts:

Original poster

happybeeisgoingcrazy · 13/01/2017 07:53

I mentioned it because I don't want a scene on the playground. As I stated earlier she will call anyone who she think is excluded her son a racist. I am trying to find a way to explain to her that it is purely a case of him not being chosen by daughter and even if he had been the reply was too late. My DD is at that age when boys are gross lol. I have no idea how she got my number or party details. Only 10 invitations were sent out. But given that one person who didn't reply I wonder if he picked up her invitation by mistake.

OP posts:

SomedayMyPrinceWillCome · 13/01/2017 08:12

Did the "missing" invite (the one not replied to) have the child's name on? Is it possible that it was picked up in error & she thought is might be for her son?

Original poster

happybeeisgoingcrazy · 13/01/2017 09:54

There were 3 parts to the invitations. The envelop and first page had names on but second page did not.

Mom was not at the school gate. I had hoped I could talk to her face to face. I have had to send a text instead.

OP posts:

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CookieLady · 13/01/2017 10:26

What did you put in your text? Have you had a reply?

MrsBlennerhassett · 13/01/2017 10:36

I think you just need to clearly tell her asap. This is not your fault and hopefully she will understand. If she doesnt understand then shes not a very reasonable person so i wouldnt worry about it. If she isnt reasonable i think other people will probably have spotted that and not take it seriously if she tries to cause trouble for you.
I do feel sorry for her son but i seriously doubt hed really want to attend the party if hes not close friends with your daughter and is not interested in makeup.

Original poster

happybeeisgoingcrazy · 13/01/2017 11:43

My text read. "Thank you for your reply. I have spoken to the make up artist and nail technician and they will make sure to bring an extra foot spa for him. Can you please let me know if the ingredients in the face mask and make will be ok on his skin. I would hate for him to have a reaction. Also what colour and design did he want on his toe nails?" Her response was very quick. "His dad just called to have him this weekend. He won't be able to come."

OP posts:

bummymummy77 · 13/01/2017 11:53

No thank you? Rude.

JennyOnAPlate · 13/01/2017 11:58

I think I love you op

SoFedUpOfPeople · 13/01/2017 11:59

😂

Finola1step · 13/01/2017 12:00

Result. Nice work.

notanetter · 13/01/2017 12:04

Sure you did, OP.

BertrandRussell · 13/01/2017 12:06

Glad it worked out OK. Although I would have gone for a more direct approach.

But for future reference, don't say " play the race card" It's an expression almost exclusively used by racists.

Original poster

happybeeisgoingcrazy · 13/01/2017 12:59

Sorry I'm still learning uk phrases. The term "playing a card" is very common where I grew up. I had no idea that's how it's perceived over here. lord alone knows what my friends thought of me when I've had to "play my woman card" at particular times of the month. Is it really that offensive.

OP posts:

teaandakitkat · 13/01/2017 13:06

That message is amazing. I love you too happybee

notanetter · 13/01/2017 13:20

Is it really that offensive

Yes. Because it implies that being a member of a marginalised group gives one an advantage. It's pretty obvious, in any language.

BertrandRussell · 13/01/2017 13:28

And incidentally, playing your woman card" is just giving ammunition to misogynists.

Original poster

happybeeisgoingcrazy · 13/01/2017 13:29

Thank you for pointing that out to me. It is a phrase I have heard all through my life and so never questioned it. I hope I have not offended anyone. Needless to say it's one I will NEVER be using again. I am so sorry everyone.

OP posts:

SouthWestmom · 13/01/2017 15:57

See I'm not getting the girly glee at a BOY going to a nail and beauty party. Tee hee how silly, how funny he might get his nails done.

FGS let's hope none of you have daughters invited to sports parties.

Pringle2628 · 13/01/2017 18:34

That was a very childish reply, sounds like you have a problem with the parent more than anything else.

SouthWestmom · 13/01/2017 18:36

His mother has been known to play the race card every time her child is not included in things.

Come off it op, you knew exactly what you meant.

OzzieFem · 13/01/2017 20:41

ROFL at OP's text.

BertrandRussell · 13/01/2017 21:20

Blimey. Surely this isn't real?

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