New on here and have never posted, so I hope this is the right place . Desperately need advice. My DD's father lives in the US with his new family, we in London with a new family too. Generally speaking we all get along very well (apart from when he doesn't get his way with something involving DD). He's now requested having DD over for Christmas, this despite having had this conversation in September where I made it clear that it wasn't possible as we are headed to Switzerland for the holidays (already booked). Last night, he claimed his mother is unwell and asked me to reconsider sending DD over for obvious reasons. Apparently she's been unwell for 45+days and is in hospital (first time I have heard this) . Frankly I am somewhat doubtful about the whole story because he has told a few since September in relation to having DD over for this Xmas . We don't have a visitation agreement, there's never been a need for one. However there's the assumption that DD spends the entire 9 weeks of summer holidays there because of summer camp etc (which she does) and he pops in to see her in London as much as possible 4/5 times a month (his work permits this) and has the Feb and May holidays . So my question is whether I am being unreasonable to say no ? We have already arranged our entire Christmas/New years. Everything is booked and everyone is looking forward to seeing all of us in a few weeks, ( I have family in Switzerland and my parents and some nephews and nieces, will be coming down from Germany). Am also having difficulties with his "reason", it just doesn't add up. He speaks to DD almost every other day on FT and has not mentioned his mother being ill for 45 days in hospital . In fact he was in London just 9 days ago and said nothing and he is not a man of few words. So how do I say no politely? Considering that, his mother might actually be in hospital? Also is it sneaky to call his mother? Not to ask her but to see how she's getting on (which will also clarify a few things for me), DD normally calls her about 3 times a month.