My 4yo hates her friends mum!

[Ellieboolou27]

Basically we moved to a new area over a year ago and dd made friends with girl from nursery, her mum is lovely and we stuck up a great friendship, however I know she doesn't like my dd much as dd is so rude to her, the girls get on well but also bicker like siblings. I've never know a 4yo to disrespect an adult like my dd does to her friends mum, it's awful and as we walk home from school together everyday it's starting to really stress me out.

Friend used to take dd to ballet weekly with her dd but has said she no longer can do it as my dd is too much trouble and is too rude.
Me and the mum are still good friends but my dd is starting to sour the friendship as I know I wouldn't put up with extreme rudeness from her dd like she does mine.

Sorry it's long but wwyd if your younger child was constantly rude to a friend, I've tried all sorts of techniques and read books on behaviour, taken privileges away, set expectations but nothing works!

Dd is very demanding but it's only with this mum / adult that she's like this, the mum and I are honest about it but I'm feeling like a failure as a parent that I can't control my 4yo rudeness to her.

That sounds really tough, Have you sat down with your dd and asked her honestly about this? I'd say something like, it's a big problem for me the way you speak to personx. Saying .... or.... makes me feel embarrassed and makes personx sad...I feel worried about the school run because of it. ...and just let her talk to you about it and then maybe try to solve the problem together....how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk I'd amazing on this kind of stuff xx

I've actually not tried sitting down calmly and stating how it makes me feel as it's always in the moment that I tell her to stop, apologise etc, maybe I will try this with her tomorrow when we are both calm, although when she doesn't want to talk about something she's like a stone wall, willing to give it a go though! Thank you