Hi all,
I hope this is an ok place to put this. I'm looking for some advice really.
Sorry if I am vague. I really don't want to be discovered.
I'll start with my side of the family.
I have a DS who is 15 months old. When I told my mother I was pregnant (besides managing to make it all about her) she told me she was going to come and stay with me to 'help and bond with the baby' (hubby and I live in another country). Now, I know I should have never allowed this if I had any reservations but a) I felt a huge amount of guilt- her first grandchild; and b) my mum frequently makes promises then breaks them. I didn't think she'd come.
Fast forward and she actually comes to stay. Not only did she not help but she actually did nothing for herself while here, treating me like a maid/cook. She did get to bond with my DS but after she left and the new baby fog had lifted I realised that while she was here she made 3 Facebook posts about DS and 30 about herself and sightseeing (we did a lot of that while here).
Since she left she has been utterly uninterested in my son. It's been over a year and she has messaged me once to ask how he is and routinely ignores my emails/phone calls to her.
Now DH family.
They live a 5min drive away and at first were a big feature in my DS life. I don't want to get into too much detail because of anonymity but they caused a bit of a row and although DH and I thought nothing of it (they are quite argumentative people) they have dropped contact and haven't seen DS in over 5 months. DH and I sort of heard through 'the grapevine' that they were badmouthing us so we haven't felt confortable making contact.
I don't know what/if anything to do.
I feel I can't make my mother interested in her GS but I also wonder how DS will feel growing up knowing that he has a GM who doesn't really bother with him.
Same with DH side. We have nothing to apologise for but at the same time when his parents fall out with family it tends to be for years. I can't make them want contact with us but again wonder about the future.
On the bright side my dad and step mum Skype my son weekly and adore him.
Sorry for the long post. I just seem to dwell on this a lot. It hurts that two sets of grandparents seem to have no interest.
Advice and comments welcome.