AND son and Soft Play Birthday Party

[Imavinoops]

Hello
Just a WWYD really.
My ASD son (3 years) has got his first birthday party invitation to a soft play. This is great news as he hasn't made many friends before now as he doesn't speak much and only communicates basic things he needs along with signing.

The problem I have is that it is at a soft play where he wouldn't be allowed on the big slides and stuff without an adult. I'm pregnant and have horrible back pains so probably would be able to get through all the tiny little gaps (and would probably end up stuck haha!)

I can't bring his Daddy who is at work and there is no one else who can help me out that day.
If I take him myself and tell him he needs to stay on the smaller part (which is pretty boring for his age tbh) he will (combined with all the noise anyway) probably meltdown an awful lot which isn't very fun for anyone, least of all him.

An idea I had would be to email back on the RSPV the reason we couldn't go and then suggest a play date between the boys. I was also going to send a little present in for DS friend before the big day at nursery.
So WWYD, would you suckling it up and try and managed DS at the soft play or would you try and make it up another way for the boys?

I feel so guilty that I may not be taking him to his first birthday party invitation...

I like the idea of a play date instead of the party. That would actually give him a better opportunity to build a friendship with the birthday child than at a chaotic soft play party anyway. The present would be a lovely touch too

On the other hand, I have never been to a soft play party where the parents are expected to go down the slides with the children, you are probably not the only parent who wouldn't be able to do this.

That's a hard one as I have two with asd and one is a similar age. Could you take a friend with you? I suppose it depends if you think he'd enjoy it or it would be too much. If you think he wouldn't cope I'd be tempted to explain to the mum and arrange a play date another time x

cheese We usually go to a different soft play with DS as the rules on this one are pretty strict, the other one we go to are much more relaxed despite being much further out of the way. I always think it's pretty annoying that they Base it on age, I get its a health and safety thing but in the real world parents tend to assess what their particular child can do or cannot do.

Msqueen Sadly I haven't been living in the area long and don't really have anyone to ask (who would be willing to attempt to keep up with an almost 4 year old with endless energy haha!) It's difficult really, if he could go by himself and there were less restrictions then I think he would love it and be able to cope with the noise and other people okay, but when you start adding in rules he doesn't understand then I would worry it would start causing too much stress and make him overwhelmed.

Just a thought: when I've taken my DS to a soft play party there has usually been about an hour of play time followed by some food. Could you take him just for the food? I'm sure the parent(s) organising would understand if you explained and you could tell him that it was a party meal rather than a soft play session. Maybe he'd manage a short play time afterwards.
It is great that he's been invited and would be a shame for him to miss out completely. It's also a good opportunity for you to meet some other parents.

Take him
There will be plenty of other adults there who won't mind looking out for him if you explain about the pregnancy and back pain