Sex talk between two 8 year olds at school, advice, opinions please

[fixuplooksharp]

AIBU to be cross about this whole situation......
My DS who is a fairly innocent 8 year old came home from school and mentioned sex, I asked him how he knew about that and he said, 'x at school told me she has sex, someone put their private parts into her private parts'
X is also an 8 year old.
Obviously this led to a discussion with DS about 'private parts' and how they are private and no one should see or touch etc etc, I explained how children do not have sex and tried to make the conversation as appropriate as possible but also making it very clear about boundries etc
It was troubling me so I spoke to his teacher the next day (who is deputy head) she appeared to be concerned about it and said she would deal with it. I asked for DS not to be named etc as he was worried about loosing a friendship with X .
When I collected him from school he told me he had had to go to the Heads office and explain the conversation to her, they asked him if it had upset him etc, then X was later on made to apologise and he said sorry to her too. (I'm not sure why he did)
So this annoyed me, a lot, I feel that the school should have called me and I should have been given the option to be present when they spoke to DS about it, as it's such a delicate subject???
This morning the deputy head came to talk to me in the playground and explained what had happened with the discussions, she said the reason X had said this was because my DS was asking her to be his girlfriend, so she made up the story about already having a boyfriend and told him they had sex, in the words above.
The teacher then said that she was happy to leave it there and the children were both happy and friends.
Right so........firstly, is it not wrong for X to know that much information at 8 and talk about it in that way?
Should they not be looking into it a bit more?
Also, forgot to mention, X's Mum is a TA at the school,
And to use my DS asking X to be his girlfriend as a justification for that conversation then happening, and the teachers to just accept it, hardly the same bloody thing, at that age many of the boys and girls talk about having girlfriends etc and 'breaking up' :)
AIBU??? Or right to be more than a bit niggled by the whole thing?
Sorry this is very long!!!

The thing is you don't know what investigation has happened in the background, or what referrals have been made. They wouldn't tell you.

If you are concerned raise it further however:

My DC have known about sex since they were 5 yo. It's not unusual to know about sex.

My DD had a friend who said she'd had sex at 8. When DD shocked enquiried further it turned out the girl thought kissing a boy on the cheek was "sex".

You should have a chat with your DS about pressurising girls to be his girlfriend. It would appear that "no" wasn't enough to shut him down.

AmeliaJack How did you get from the above that my DS 'was pressurising girls' He asked her, that's all.
I get, now, that it is not unusual to know about sex at a young age, but there is a difference between knowing about it and saying you have had sex. The girl was not referring to sex as being a kiss or anything like that, she described what she said had happened.
Thanks for your reply though, and yes I understand there may be background checks going on.

fix I made that assumption because most 8 yo girls would just say "no" if all he did was ask once.

And you did say "she made the story up to stop him asking her".

You are right, there is a difference from knowing about it to saying you've had sex which is why I said if you are still concerned to report it further.

I agree with pps that the child saying she had sex is the worrying bit. Hopefully she doesn't know what she is saying.
I don't know where in the family this child is but just wanted to explain that it's very hard to keep younger children from learning from older siblings. We had a lot of this with 8-9 years between no1 and no 5 so number 5 embarrassed me on a number of occasions by the things he said in public but what were we to do as we wanted to encourage openness in the teenagers? A few years later another mother told me she used to be shocked by my youngest and then had exactly the same issue when her son was 8 and his sister was 16. It's tricky.

I said this to my friends when I was 9

I told them I went to my grandmas house over half term and met up with my "boyfriend" and we had sex in my room at their house.

I described, in great detail, how a penis doesnt have to be "put in", that it gets stiff and goes in by itself. I talked about how it was easy and fun.

I had NEVER been exposed to anything inappropriate by my parents and had never been abused. I'd picked up snippets from my (4 years older) sister and my friends who also had older siblings.

I said this to my friends when I was 9

I told them I went to my grandmas house over half term and met up with my "boyfriend" and we had sex in my room at their house.

I described, in great detail, how a penis doesnt have to be "put in", that it gets stiff and goes in by itself. I talked about how it was easy and fun.

I had NEVER been exposed to anything inappropriate by my parents and had never been abused. I'd picked up snippets from my (4 years older) sister and my friends who also had older siblings.

Sorry double posted and posted too soon!

Anyway, my friend told a teacher about what I'd said and the teacher told me off for lying, I dont think abuse ever even crossed her mind.