Partner wants to take our baby to see his ex's family

[Montie16]

My partner sprung it on me today that he wants to take our 6 week old baby to see his ex's family. Was I wrong to say "no way!" I don't think he's ever got over his ex. They split 8 years ago, he doesn't really have anything to do with her family so why does he want to take our baby to visit them?! Now he's making me feel like I'm being grossly unfair by saying no.

No of course that is totally inappropriate.

Put the onus on him and ask him why he wants to do that. And will she be there?

What?! Why??

That's a bit odd, I wouldn't like it either.

that's weird. If he still maintained a relationship with them, and remained friends, fair enough. Was he planning to go alone or with you?

Maybe it is innocent and he bumped into ex's relative who said they would love to see the baby sometime.

Maybe he just wants to show the baby off?

Very odd, why does he want to do that?

How bizarre? Does he have children with his ex?

Does he keep in touch with them?

If he hasn't spoken to them in 8 years, it's a bit odd...

Context please?

Is he freinds with the family or does he randomly want to meet with them after years?

I think you should tell him you've recently had a baby and faced big changes, physically and mentally, and that you think it is extremely inconsiderate, disrespectful and downright rude that he should want anything to do with his old relationship at this time, and especially to want to bring your child into it!

I think he's maybe seen his ex's family twice in the last 8 years. I did ask him how he would respond if I said I wanted to take our baby to see my ex's baby, and he didn't respond. He doesn't have any children with his ex so I feel really uncomfortable with the idea of our baby being dragged into his past which has nothing to do with me or baby.

They don't stay in touch. Perhaps a hello in passing that's about it. He doesn't have children with his ex, which if he did I'd understand his reasoning.

There is something he is not telling you, clearly

Weird.

I'd take this as wanting to prove to his ex that he is over her... Even if he still harbours the what ifs....

"Hell No" would have been my answer too!

There's no need. I genuinely don't see the point. It's not as though there are children from that relationship who want to meet their half sibling.

If his ex hasn't met a partner/had kids, she may feel as if he's rubbing her nose in it. I'm sure that's not his intention though.

No, no and no. Bloody weird and outrageous request. What is the point of the visit?

Weird.

I imagine his exes' family will be equally weirded out at the idea of this guy from 8 years ago coming back to show them his baby. Will probably trigger an entirely different post on MN.

Can he tell you why he wants to do this? What he is expecting from this entirely bizarre meeting between a man who is nothing to this family but who seems to want to show them his child? I presume they will be nice and say "lovely baby" but won't actually want to spend even one minute with him and his baby.

I wouldn't allow it. Bit of an odd thing to do.

Dont allow it, he might be using your baby to rub her face in it about something. Its not healthy.