I don't want anyone announcing my pregnancy on Facebook!

[user1471855186]

Hi everyone - new to mumsnet and hoping for advice - thanks in advance!

My husband and I will not be announcing our pregnancy on Facebook and will post a photo after baby arrives.

I'm bridesmaid at the end of September and am worried bumpy photos of me will be posted - and the bride and I have over 70 mutual friends. Effectively she will be making a pregnancy announcement for us!

The safest way is to ask her not to post any of me. This seems a little high maintenance given that this is her big day. and she got cross with the other bridesmaid who asked her to take down some bumpy hen do photos for the same reason as me.

I don't want to be a bridesmaidzilla and have shut down as much as I can, privacy wise, but I really don't want to be outed. I even thought about of announcing it ourselves so at least it's done in our way in our time, but I really don't want to and fast changed my mind!

Any advice please? Thanks!

I think that's the sensible thing to do - at least that way it's on your own terms. I'm not a huge fan of Facebook but we did announce on FB as we have friends and family who we don't speak to that regularly but who I know would be hurt to find out from someone else's photos rather than my saying something.

Thank you :-) Yes you do have to be careful of how it makes people feel, it's a bit of a minefield!

If you don't want to go down the whole announcing road you could just put a couple of pics up of you nearer to the wedding where you obviously have a bump?

Ahh now I understand!

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I agree with the others about strategic placing of the bouquet..

Thank you both! I'll definitely be back for more advice :-)

Also, what's the dress like? I'm currently 25 weeks and you can't really tell when I'm in the right dress (I am already overweight though so easier to hide!) if you can get it to flow at the waist it may not be as obvious as you think.

Mine is also an IVF baby and it took me AGES to tell people so I completely understand

We never announced my last pregnancy on Facebook, didn't see the need, but we didn't censor any photos either. Only two people noticed that I'm aware of. Most knew as we see them IRL anyway, the rest got a bit of a surprise last Christmas when dc4 arrived. I understand your reason for wanting to keep it quiet, but I wouldn't worry too much. Most people won't be zooming in to see how much weight you've been putting on round the waistline

Having had a late pregnancy loss I actually felt very strongly that I wanted people to know about my baby, she may have never been born alive but she WAS my baby girl. I know this angle is a morbid, and probably entirely unnecessary, angle to look at it from but that bump is your child, your precious son or daughter, someone you love and want all your loved ones to know about and love with you. Wear your baby bump with pride. Its not a potential baby, it's your BABY! XX

You can stop the photos appraring on your FB if that helps? If you're tagged there is a setting that you check to say you want approval before they appear on your timeline.

If you are thinking to announce anyway, why not have a lovely photo taken of you as bridesmaid and use that as the announcement?

Somebody who knows will say or do something to alert suspicions. Even if it is just copy you in on a Groupon add for baby massage. And it will be unintentional because they will forget it is super secret.

I didn't really show with both of mine at 26 weeks. would have been easily concealable .

maybe wait a bit nearer the wedding and decide then if to announce based on bump size?

Thank you for more lovely messages and I'm sorry I didn't see them til now. Also Desmondo2016 I'm so sorry to hear that - that really is very sad and sending you lots of love.
The wedding was amazing and a ton of photos appeared on Facebook - and I managed to hide behind my flowers for the whole thing :-)