Would you let a 10 yr old go back to hotel room on their own?

[stoopstofolly]

We are in holiday- on a complex with no real access to " outside". In Europe. DD (10, 11 in Sept) is too old for the babysitting / kids evening clubs, but gets bored sitting with us all evening. She's very full on in the day learning to sail so is tired by about 9.00- we've tried family games etc but she's not able to concentrate.
Last night she'd been playing cards with some friends, who all decided to go back to their rooms and headed off, leaving parents still in the bar.
I feel really uncomfortable doing this and so have been coming back with her to the room.
She's "suggested" tonight I take her back to the room and then go back and join DH- we don't stay out late-10.30/11.00 ish as we're all on boats by 8.30an! I said no.
Am I being sensible or overprotective?

I wouldn't do it but maybe I am also over protective.

I let my 7 year old do it. I think a 10 year old would be more than capable. What do you think might happen?

Nope I wouldn't let her.

I don't know if I'd feel relaxed, knowing that she was on her own in the room, but it would really depend on a few other factors. Does she have a phone or a way to contact you? Is she generally sensible? Is it far from room to where you would be?

I would - as long as she had a way of contacting you. So I'd show her how to make an external call on the room phone so she could phone my mobile, or else if both adults had phones I'd leave one with her so she could text.

I don't know what I think would happen- realistically in England she walks to school on her own, and is happy to be left at home in the day for up to an hour. The hotel is secure, the rooms lock.... It just feels odd. I get the distinct impression that she'd like to read and fall asleep before we get back and my presence doesn't help!

I wouldn't. But if I was going to consider it, I would quiz her on what she would do if the fire alarm went off/ if someone knocked on the door/ if she hurt herself. If they evacuated the hotel, they wouldn't allow you back in to get her, so she'd need to have the common sense to get herself out.

Presuming she is a sensible kid (sounds it!) she should be fine. Honestly the chances of something bad happening are miniscule. Could she have a phone with her to ring you straightway?

Good point about the phone- she knows how to get reception but I could give her my mobile and she could call her Dad...
Honestly she's knackered and wants to read and sleep. We're also in a family room and DH snores- I think she's trying to be asleep before him!

If you don't feel comfortable don't do it. Only you know your dd some are more sensible/ confident than others. Mine 10yr old is sensible enough and I would say yes but she would decide not to at the last minute as she doesn't like being alone. Dd2 is only 8 but significantly more immature than her sister and I can't imagine letting her do that when she is 10.

Dammit I don't know!

How would she cope in a fire alarm situation. You wouldn't be allowed to go up to her - would she manage to evacuate without panicing? Even if there was smoke?

She is very sensible and mature- so I'm conscious that this might lead to us sleepwalking into letting her do things she's too young for.
I'll play it by ear tonight and see how she/I feels...

My daughter has her own key, knows where I am, knows what to do in an emergency. I can't see any reason for her not to go up to the room on her own. I sometimes check on her but not always. She's pretty sensible. She's also 7. When will you give your daughter some independence? At 10, I was travelling across London on my own and was pretty self-sufficient if I had to be. I thin you are being over-protective but everyone parents differently - you might think I'm incredibly slack :)

No I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving her either.

Enb76- I don't think you're slack! We live in London as well and she is pretty independent in our area. Realistically she's probably just as safe in a modern hotel with great security than she is at home in London. It just feels different....

She will have had fire alarm practice at school, presumably? I think 10 is ideally placed to be given some degree of responsibility. A quick reminder that if the alarm goes she is to get up and make her way down immediately, that's all.

So a girl walking home from school in the dark through London in winter is safer than a girl in a locked hotel room?

Exactly caroledecker. I'm aware I'm not consistently neurotic...

Your job is to take the pain and your children get the gain. Leave her to herself.

Similar post a while ago and someone mentioned who could have access to spare room keys which was a concern - young child seen going in alone etc. Just wanted to throw that out there......

Oh, of course it's OK! If she's like my ds she will need the decompression time. Make sure she has a phone for your reassurance.