Office gifts for new baby

[handbags88]

I'm feeling a bit hurt by this and wondering if I might be being petty...

I recently had a baby girl. In our office we all pay into a gift fund at a set point in the year and it is understood that this money is spent on presents for special birthdays, babies and retirement gifts.

About a month before I had my baby, another colleague had a little boy. Her present was discussed at breaktimes, emails were sent about it.

When I had my little girl, I expected to receive a similar gift. I have been working at the office longer than my colleague and am on the same pay grade as her.

I didn't receive a present and my little girl was born almost 9 weeks ago. The other girl was given her present the day before she went off on maternity leave.

I was hurt by this but didn't say anything. No-one has mentioned anything - it's as if i haven't had a baby. Now another colleague is expecting and her potential gift is being discussed at breaks (I was visiting with my daughter and my colleagues were discussing it in the office kitchen).

I don't really feel like contributing to the fund again (the time to contribute is coming up) but would this be incredibly petty of me? I don't feel I can explain why either...any advice? Am I being grabby?

Oh gosh that is incredibly hurtful. I completely understand you not wanting to contribute - I would feel exactly the same. I think in the end I would graciously contribute but not enter into conversations about what presents to buy in the future or offer to go buy them .

Although being on maternity leave, surely you wouldn't be expected to contribute at the moment?

That's really sad. I'd be hurt too. Do you generally get on well with everybody OP?

I like to think I'm friendly with everyone in the office - although I can be a bit shy. I've been trying to think if I could have accidentally offended anyone but I don't think I have...

Venys - I'll be asked to contribute a set amount when I return from mat leave, it's an amount for the whole year and the woman who collects is very good at rounding people up!

I think I will contribute thanks guys. Just wanted to check that I wasn't being super sensitive or huffy!!

I would be upset and tbh, if asked when you return

I would make a casual comment 'sorry I did t think the fund/kitty was used anymore.'

Is it your first baby? Some places don't collect for second or subsequent babies.

Age - that's quite a good way of broaching the subject gently. If I'm brave enough!

Yes, she's my first baby - same with the other ladies. The office staff definitely know she's my first - there's been a lot of chatting/usual joking about how life changing it would be.

I would definitely, it shows that you have not gone in all guns blazing, yet your not a push over to give YOUR money for collections when yours was blatantly missed.

Okay - update!

I met a colleague in the supermarket yesterday and we were talking about babies etc.

She asked what gift I has received for DD as she works part time and thought she had missed the giving of the present part.

When I told her I hadn't actually received anything, she looked very surprised and assured me that it had been spoken about/decided who would buy the gift, so she was confused about why we hadn't been given anything. She seemed quite about it.

So at least I know now that we weren't forgotten, but obviously things have gone a bit awry...!