Hi all...hope u can give me some advice lol
So I have 3 kids..my youngest has severe disabilities. I met a guy a yr and a half ago who was just out of a bad marriage. He had 2 kids whom his x wouldn't let him see. He kinda moved in..he stayed a night here and there and gradually just was there all the time. Financially at the start I paid the bills he paid the food. I felt bad asking him to help pay half my mortgage...dunno why
Last Sept he heard his x was really badly into drugs so to cut a long story short there followed 6 months of courts resulting in permanent custody to him. They don't even see their mum. Now, my youngest attends hospital 3 days a week for 5 hrs and it's a 70 mile round trip. Throughout all this I also done a 200 mile a week round trip taking his kids to and from school. I spent 250 on new clothes for them as they had the things they were standing in the day they came to me and bought all thr Xmas pressies aa I like to be organised. I got nothing back from him. His parents don't help at all though they talk plenty about the x wife! I noticed his wee boy wasn't right...turns out he's autistic and I noticed he had a severe curve in his spine. He walks on his tiptoes for goodness sake and not him or his silly family noticed. He has 2 sisters with no kids.
Anyway my point is this... he pays for very little, he always seems to be skint even though he has a fairly good job. He has asked his folks for help but they maybe take the kids a day and that's it. My poor wee mummy has tried and she's 70 .his mum is 55. I think I love him but I cba with sex, we've no fun any more and life is so hard. I worry about him and his money, his kids do my head in too at times. My others go to their dad's but his are there constantly. I try to work from home when mine are away but I'm in the kitchen and next thing is is are getting dinner etc annoying me at work with customers. I just feel like a hamster on a wheel. Some days I don't even have time to get a shower and makeup and nice clothes seem to be a thing of the past which isn't me.
I worked out I pay for any wkd breaks we've been on, mortgage, lecce, some food, paid 4 flights 4 him and his dad so he could pick up a car..financially I feel the 3 r a big burden. And I have found out he bums and blows behind my back...eg he told my friends hubby he was skint 1 month as he'd bought all the wood to make a fence... no I bought it. I lent him money 2 pay a credit card to discover he hasn't been paying it back into my account.
Pros he is good with my kids, my 2 Boys especially. He seems to adore me, he's great around the house, when we do get a night out we have a laugh. I finally asked him 4 money the other week and tbf he paid straight away.
The thing that has really gotten to me is yesterday my friend admitted to me that a couple of weeks ago we went to a hotel and concert together (I paid) and he told her hubby that we had been going through a rocky patch and he'd been thinking bout getting his own place (I knew this) her fella says will u b able to afford it and he says I pay half of everything anyway. U know if I wanted I could take half of her house but I wouldn't do that on her
I just thought that was a shitty thing to even think! Buy the more I think of it was it just more of his blowing?
Now, we chatted last nite and he suggested moving out as he can see I'm not happy but I do feel a bit bad! I think if his folks had took the kids a bit more t b3gin with and he'd been better with money I wouldn't feel like this..it's just went to far down the line. He mentioned moving back to his old town and I said why as yes moved kids school but he says so his folks will help him! Tbh that would drive me mad as they know I have so much work with my wee one and never done a thing
Advice please!