Extremely upset with 8 year olds behaviour

[wonderstuff]

Read bedtime story to dd, turned out the light, she was upset and wanted to read more. I said no, she needed to go to sleep, put hand out for book, which she then threw in my face, hitting me.
I said no screen time tomorrow, and left, it was too late for a scene. I don't know if this is sufficient really.
She has had an unbelievably rubbish week, she was very tired. But throwing a book at her mother is pretty awful. Should she at 8 be less impulsive?
She has 2 parties on Sunday, I'm tempted to stop her going, but is that just vindictive?

What to do?

No don't stop the parties as you have already given a punishment

Is it normal for 8 year olds to lose it and become aggressive when really tired and upset? I don't remember ever hitting out at my parents. I worry about this behaviour. She only reacts this way towards me or dh, at school she is brilliant. But she will kick us occasionally, she seems to lose it, become impulsive. She's always very upset afterwards.

I'm having this problem with my ds 9. I've got the school nurse team helping us. They have been brilliant!

I think that's sufficient. Maybe a word in the morning about never throwing things at people. But I'd let her go to the parties. As a one off I wouldn't worry too much - is it part of a pattern of behaviour?

Hesterton that sounds good, thank you.
She is gorgeous 90% of the time, a really good kid. But a bit jekyll and hyde when extremely tired and upset this aggressive monster appears.
Like I said it has been an awful week, a much loved member of her school support staff died unexpectedly over half term, so school has been hard. But I do worry about this horrible impulsive behaviour. Hope she grows out of it soon.
Just heard her get up.

She was very upset about screens today, cried, screamed, hit herself. Now she's calmed right down and is doing her homework.

In a way you've answered your own question- she was tired and upset. Lots of people have poor impulse control in those circumstances. Of course, there still had to be some consequent for her behaviour but it might be worth having a chat about triggers eg tiredness and how to act when she starts to feel overtired and overwrought. Home is her safe place hence why you and her DF see all the emotions she bottles up at school.

I would imagine tiredness was a big factor, but you were still right to follow through with screen ban. Let her go to the parties and work on some early nights and talking to her about controlling her anger. Hope you feel better about it all now.

Thanks all. All calm and lovely now. Not easy this parenting malarkey though is it! X

Same boat about the cinema yesterday - made dd age 9 do a few chores as compo for me having to out up with her bad attitude!!