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Original poster

My brother in law taking new girlfriend to family funeral.

27 replies

hugz · 04/06/2016 06:04

Hi my brother in law wants to take his girlfriend of 5 months to a family funeral. It's there great aunt. She has never met the deceased or any members of the family. Also she is loud and embarrassing. Every time my mother in law and myself hear her talk we cringe. Simply we don't want her there. Many thanks for any advice.

OP posts:

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 04/06/2016 06:07

I think if he needs the support of his girlfriend, he should take her.

Sorry for your loss OP.

MrsCampbellBlack · 04/06/2016 06:12

Well I don't see how you can stop him but it isn't really the place to introduce a new girlfriend.

Was he very close to your great aunt?

greengreenten · 04/06/2016 06:13

Sounds like you just don't like her.

ExitPursuedByBear · 04/06/2016 06:15

I bet she is really looking forward to it.

hesterton · 04/06/2016 06:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MajesticSeaFlapFlap · 04/06/2016 06:20

Prehaps he wants some support

LuckySantangelo1 · 04/06/2016 06:20

You can't dictate who attends a funeral I'm afraid.

BeauGlacons · 04/06/2016 06:22

Regardless of the occasion she'll be loud and embarrassing. Your bil needs her support and has chosen to make her a part of his life. She can't be loud and embarrassing during the actual service.

Have the family made an announcement that the funeral is "private" family only? In which case I guess your bil could still invite his partner.

I am sorry for your loss but I think funerals are sad and stressful enough without introducing a family row. Hope the day is ok.

branofthemist · 04/06/2016 06:43

You can't do anything. I have been to funerals of people I don't know. To support the person grieving.

I went to a good friends dads funeral to be there for her. Not because I wanted to say good bye to her dad.

Quite frankly, you say 'we don't want her there'. It's got nothing to do with you, who this man takes to his own great aunts funeral.

Please be careful regarding your and mils behaviour towards her. Seems like you two are ganging up on her.

Me and my sil don't get on, she is awful and hates me for having kids first and lots of petty stuff. I remain civil and ignore her nasty comments. However it's caused a huge divide in the family.

BitOutOfPractice · 04/06/2016 06:48

What "advice" do you want? He can take who the hell he likes to a funeral whether you like her or not. You sound really lovely - not

DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings · 04/06/2016 06:50

After only 5 months she's going to support her boyfriend at a funeral surrounded by his family who dislike her? She sounds lovely to put aside the fact that she's not liked to provide that support to someone she's not known very long.

msrisotto · 04/06/2016 06:59

Why do you think you have any right to dictate who he can bring to any funeral? Sorry you don't like her but he does and you need to get the fuck over it.

2gorgeousboys · 04/06/2016 07:32

My 20 year old DSS brought his girlfriend of 6 months to DFiL's (his Grandfather's) funeral. We had met her before but the rest of the family hadn't. A couple of people were surprised that we allowed it. She was a great support to DSS and we were really glad she was there for him. It was also a chance for the wider family to meet and get to know her.

I think that if your BIL wants his girlfriend there then you should all accept that. Even if everyone had met her, you would still find her loud and annoying by the sounds of it so I think thats a non argument.

You may find, as we did, that it's an opportunity for everyone to get to know her!

Scoopmuckdizzy · 04/06/2016 07:55

I don't think it's your decision to make.

StylishDuck · 04/06/2016 07:57

When I had been going out with my now DH for about 5 months I went with him to his friend's funeral. I'd never met her but I went to support him. That's what you do when you're in a relationship with someone.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 04/06/2016 08:03

It's not about her not knowing everyone, she's going to support her boyfriend!

You and your MIL sound really nasty, you barely know her but you e already decided you don't like her so mock her together. Vile.

elvis86 · 31/12/2016 18:44

Bloody hell - I didn't realise that guest lists for funerals were a "thing" now!?

Unless the gf murdered the deceased or has done something equally terrible, you and your MIL simply not liking her gives you zero right to direct that she be banned from the funeral.

I hope she attends and gets trollied at the wake..

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 31/12/2016 18:47

You sound nice.

P1nkP0ppy · 31/12/2016 18:55

Poor girl, she hasn't got a cat's chance in hell has she?
You sound singularly snobbish and bitchy op.

WeAllHaveWings · 31/12/2016 19:22

I've been to many a funeral of someone I have never met. Usually a work colleagues parent, spouse or child or a friends relative. It is completely acceptable and normal to go to show respect and support someone you know is grieving.

Secondly, not wanting her there because she is embarrassing?? are you being serious? You really need to get over yourself.

DameFanny · 31/12/2016 19:23

This is an old thread. But I'm glad it came up as I've been reminded to go and rewatch "Mum"

tribpot · 31/12/2016 19:25

Zombie thread.

AnyFucker · 31/12/2016 19:27

I don't think a funeral is the place to gang up on some poor woman and make her feel like shit

Just go and pay your respects as you normally would

AnyFucker · 31/12/2016 19:28

Zombie ? Oh, bugger.

tribpot · 31/12/2016 19:32

I know. I'll report it but ..

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