Would you ask him?

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

Ds2-18 is a very, very self contained lad, he's very unsociable, that's who he is, he's our lad . ( we love him unconditionally btw, obviously)

He lives away at university and came home for Easter, he was ill with a nasty virus and laid low.

He went out once while at home

Today he went back to University , I cleaned the room when I got home from work, hoovered the carpet, polished the surfaces and pulled open the drawers to check he'd emptied them

I found a Stop and Search note from the police, I assume from
the one night he went out back here , picked it up and read it.

He didn't mention it to us, would you say anything to him?

Dh says not to, I do t think I can ignore it.

Would you?

I

• unsociable at home with us as his Parents , very sociable with his friends at University.

What would be the point of bringing it up? What are you looking to gain from that?

I want to know what happened, wouldn't you as his Parent, regardless of age?

Regardless of age?

No. Adults get to have their own lives which are separate to their parents IMO.

I would ask, yes

But I would believe him if he said it was sorted

He deserves his privacy. Of course you want to know; but retaining respect for him as a young adult is more important. It is not your place to know everything about him. Just be there and if he chooses to tell you sometime, then that's fine - if not, then you have to bite the bullet and zip the lip.

What does the note say was the reason for the stop?

Liney , just a reference number.

I know it's private but he's so distant I feel upset that something has happened and he's chosen to say nothing.

Sorry, writing it out here has really made me realise how distant he is to us .

That's doesn't sound right, Diego. What info is on the note?

Yes you're right Mishaps, it's difficult for me to keep schtum about such things but he won't tell me any way (if he chooses not to, which he won't )

We live in a small town, it's odd.

Liney it's a standard West Mercia headed slip explaining what Stop and Search means and they occur.

*why they occur.

Nothing on the slip explaining why he would have been stopped.

That sounds like a general info leaflet not an individual Stop and Search form (which has to give reasons for the stop, the police officers details etc).

There was a hand written URN in the allocated box.

Am I over reacting? I am an over reactor

• strike out fail .

Probably. It sounds like the sort of lazy Stop that the transport police do round our railway station to anyone under 25. Which they shouldn't do.

My sister got stopped and searched for walking alone At night just removed her vodka she was 17 and gave her a card nothing more they stopped me once walking home I had nothing to hide but still got s letter

My 19 year old got one when home from uni recently. Apparently they were looking for someone vulnerable wearing similar clothes and big and blonde. He only mentioned it because he knew the bobby concerned through a sporting thing, and told me in a ' guess who I saw, sent his love' sort of way. I doubt he'd have thought to mention it otherwise. And I certainly wouldn't dream of questioning him over a non event. He's an adult.

My DH got stopped and searched one night when he was about 20 (8 or so years ago) and the reason they gave was because he looked "scruffy" I think they can be a bit random and don't mean he's done anything wrong.