A DIALOGUE WITH SARAH, AGED 3: IN WHICH IT IS SHOWN THAT IF YOUR DAD IS A CHEMISTRY PROFESSOR, ASKING “WHY” CAN BE DANGEROUS

[hunkermunker]

A DIALOGUE WITH SARAH, AGED 3: IN WHICH IT IS SHOWN THAT IF YOUR DAD IS A CHEMISTRY PROFESSOR, ASKING ?WHY? CAN BE DANGEROUS
By Stephen McNeil

SARAH: Daddy, were you in the shower?

DAD: Yes, I was in the shower.

SARAH: Why?

DAD: I was dirty. The shower gets me clean.

SARAH: Why?

DAD: Why does the shower get me clean?

SARAH: Yes.

DAD: Because the water washes the dirt away when I use soap.

SARAH: Why?

DAD: Why do I use soap?

SARAH: Yes.

DAD: Because the soap grabs the dirt and lets the water wash it off.

SARAH: Why?

DAD: Why does the soap grab the dirt?

SARAH: Yes.

DAD: Because soap is a surfactant.

SARAH: Why?

DAD: Why is soap a surfactant?

SARAH: Yes.

DAD: That is an EXCELLENT question. Soap is a surfactant because it forms water-soluble micelles that trap the otherwise insoluble dirt and oil particles.

SARAH: Why?

DAD: Why does soap form micelles?

SARAH: Yes.

DAD: Soap molecules are long chains with a polar, hydrophilic head and a non-polar, hydrophobic tail. Can you say ?hydrophilic??

SARAH: Aidrofawwic

DAD: And can you say ?hydrophobic??

SARAH: Aidrofawwic

DAD: Excellent! The word ?hydrophobic? means that it avoids water.

SARAH: Why?

DAD: Why does it mean that?

SARAH: Yes.

DAD: It?s Greek! ?Hydro? means water and ?phobic? means ?fear of?. ?Phobos? is fear. So ?hydrophobic? means ?afraid of water?.

SARAH: Like a monster?

DAD: You mean, like being afraid of a monster?

SARAH: Yes.

DAD: A scary monster, sure. If you were afraid of a monster, a Greek person would say you were gorgophobic.

(pause)

SARAH: (rolls her eyes) I thought we were talking about soap.

DAD: We are talking about soap.

(longish pause)

SARAH: Why?

DAD: Why do the molecules have a hydrophilic head and a hydrophobic tail?

SARAH: Yes.

DAD: Because the C-O bonds in the head are highly polar, and the C-H bonds in the tail are effectively non-polar.

SARAH: Why?

DAD: Because while carbon and hydrogen have almost the same electronegativity, oxygen is far more electronegative, thereby polarizing the C-O bonds.

SARAH: Why?

DAD: Why is oxygen more electronegative than carbon and hydrogen?

SARAH: Yes.

DAD: That?s complicated. There are different answers to that question, depending on whether you?re talking about the Pauling or Mulliken electronegativity scales. The Pauling scale is based on homo- versus heteronuclear bond strength differences, while the Mulliken scale is based on the atomic properties of electron affinity and ionization energy. But it really all comes down to effective nuclear charge. The valence electrons in an oxygen atom have a lower energy than those of a carbon atom, and electrons shared between them are held more tightly to the oxygen, because electrons in an oxygen atom experience a greater nuclear charge and therefore a stronger attraction to the atomic nucleus! Cool, huh?

(pause)

SARAH: I don?t get it.

DAD: That?s OK. Neither do most of my students.

[Blandmum]

Hunker, my poor dd is used to converstationsa like this one

Now she will ask a question and when I am part way done, she shouts 'Enough, I don't want to know any more!!!!!!!'

I am banned from discussing sand dunes by the whole family after last year's holday

[MrsBadger]

[katzg]

thats fab! sounds very like the conversation we had yesterday about what are rainbows and why they appear! doubt DD1 (4) will ask again for a while!

[Whizzz]

cool

[danceswithnewboots]

Yesterday as we were driving in the car dd (3yrs) said to me 'Mummy, chicks (as in baby chickens not women...ahem) don't wear space suits do they?'

• WHAT are you supposed to say to that! 'Um no, they don't' was the inspired answer I came up with

[shosha]

Message withdrawn

[hunkermunker]

MB

I'm glad you saw this - it was you I thought of when I read it - in a good way!

[nikkie]

[Blandmum]

I am that guy. God, how awful!

Seriously, I am that guy!

Poor bloody kids!

[Pruni]

Message withdrawn

[heavenlyghosty]

LOL ... Hunker and MB
My DD (3 next month) has much simpler questions:

After much discussion the other day about whether to bother with shoes to go in the car to the beach, we decided to go barefoot.
In the car, DD asks: Dad, you got shoes?
DH: No darling
DD: Dad, you got feet?

[RTKangaSANTAMummy]

I showed it to DH who is a chemistry teacher

He is going to pass it on to other chemistry teachers

[marthamoo]

Science people Dh is the same.

Reminds me of one of those "funny things kids say" stories I read once. 5 year old asks her Mum what sex is. Mum had been hoping the question wouldn't arise so soon but takes a deep breath and plunges in with what she hopes is the right mix of biological detail and moral framework to hang it on. Daughter is riveted. Then Mum stops..."where did you hear the word, darling?" DD: "Daddy said it." Mum: "Did he? Er...what exactly did he say?"

DD: "He said...'You wait there...I'll be back in two secs.'"

[lizziemun]

That man was my dad, when i was about 8, i was having a discussion with my dad, brother about knights in armour (dad was making a dressing outfit for my brother for the silver jubilee (well that gives my age away) street party. One minute we were talking about armour the next he was talking about yetti's to this day we do not understand how we got their.

He did always go into to much detail.

[lapinrose]

DH is the same, except with him its rock formations, wave action, glaciers, volcanoes...yes, the dreaded geography teacher, every day out is like a mini field trip