Keeping family together

[tryhard]

This is about my DM & DS rather than my own children. DS & I were relatively close as children but DM tends to be controlling (have since recognised it as FOG) so DS withdrew as soon as she left home. While we stayed close, DS has always kept maintained a distance. DF died suddenly 10 years ago & since then DM has become hard work. DS & DM hardly ever have direct contact with each other, the odd email or phone call here & there. It's almost always me who makes the effort to ring them both, arrange to meet up etc. If I don't call, both will leave it weeks before contacting me but then sulk because I've not been in touch. I look at the bond between my DC & feel so sad that DS & I were once so close but now for DS certainly contact with DM has become a real effort & I presume with me also as I'm the one who calls etc. I find talking to & seeing my family increasingly stressful & upsetting & I'm starting to wonder if I should just give up trying to keep us all in contact with eachother. WWYD?

Bump?

I think you are hoping for the ideal family, which in reality does not appear to exist. I have tried to make my various relatives into a happy family but they did not care and I got even more upset having tried and failed. I just let them all go their own ways now and try to find something for me to be happy with.

I think you should give up. you are trying to create something that just isn't there.

See your mother yourself.

Meet up with your sister separately - you might find you have a whole new relationship with her once she realises you are not trying to get her to see your mother.

your sister's relationship with her mother is the responsibility of your mother and your sister. It isn't yours.