single mother of twin DS for ten years, since they were a few months old, and I've had enough. Every day it seems gets spoilt: we don't get through a single mealtime without one of them being horrible to the other or to me, and I'm tired tired tired tired of it. They haven't seen their father for years, he lives abroad, has never paid maintenance. We are on a low income and I do what I can but they don't have as many things as many of their peers, and they get angry about it. Then I get angry back, yelling about what I do for them and how no one does anything for me. It's horrible. I don't know how we've got to this dark, horrible place. I feel my family is a failure, that I've failed at being a mother. I feel very sorry for them for being brought up this way, and sorry for myself at having my life ruined.
I reread this and it sounds like a pathetic, self-indulgent, self-pitying whine. I don't know how I became this person.