Friend had a baby - didn't know she was pregnant

[Rjt1982]

A friend, who I've known for ten years and regard quite close, had a baby at the weekend. I only found out through a parent at the school who she had told. She hadn't mentioned her pregnancy and we've been out for coffee, shopping quite a lot. The last time being two weeks ago. Before you ask, yes I noticed she had gained a little weight but I assumed it was because she had stopping going to her slimming world class. I feel annoyed and sad. She said her head was in a weird place but yet she told our neighbour. Is it safe to assume she doesn't value my friendship anymore?

I kind of know how you feel, I know my friend is pregnant though she hasn't told me she is. I'm not sure if I am supposed to mention it or wait for her to tell me, I feel a bit sad about it like you do as maybe we are not as close as I thought.
Bemused by those who think we're not allowed to have feelings about this sort of thing - yes I'm sure she does have her reasons, doesn't stop me felling sad that she hasn't felt the need to tell me about it.

Yes I see DV and in fact I've just remember that someone once upped the ante from 'breeders' as a term of abuse on here to 'calvers'. Gits indeed

Circumstances suggested they probably would judge. I even judged myself, but it was too late by then, and I didn't want an abortion.

I'm glad it worked out okay Pip

Another who can understand not wanting to tell people for fear of being judged - mine was because of my age and I didn't want everyone telling me "You'll have to drop out" which was a big fear of mine.

Hopefully she's okay but she needs your support, not for you to be offended.

going What I was trying to say was that she was in a very bad place, and in denial the whole way through. She did behave in a way that wasnt rational to everyone around her. I didn't mean to say I thought she was unreasonable though. She was in a bad place, and the people who knew about the pregnancy respected her wishes throughout and didnt judge her. We are still very good friends 10 years later.

Tbh I didn't tell anyone other than our families. We found out when I was 25 weeks! I was on the pill and hadn't had a period for about 4 years and was still in my size 8s! Because we found out so late there were certain tests etc we couldn't have. We didn't know if the baby would be ok and didn't want everyone hounding us for news of the baby just in case. He was and is fine though luckily If one of my friends considered ending the friendship over it I wouldn’t particularly want them in my life tbh. I prefer friends who respect my personal choices and her baby is nothing to do with you tbf!

I didn't share either. I work for family and the first they knew was when I popped my matb1 form on the desk and went home at the end of the working day one day.
People do judge if your single, I hate attention at the best of times.
One of my friends said she was offended, which surprised me it made me think she must be quite self centered, but the others were fine.

OP this is not about you. Don't make the mistake of thinking that it is. If you want to be a good friend then support her. There may be all manner of reasons why she hasn't been telling everyone.