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An Alternative Christmas Story

2 replies

ELF1981 · 08/12/2006 20:04

'Twas the night before Christmas and old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
"Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole damn works!"
I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa" what do I hear ?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money, the reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get
Those as** oles from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes; if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days, they all are the pits
They want the impossible, those mean little sh *ts
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, heads and legs
I made a ton of yo-yo's, No request for them,
All they want is computers or robots...they must think I'm IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season

(sorry for the 2nd thread, the first one missed off half my title!)

OP posts:
mummymic · 09/12/2006 14:18

lol x

twinkletinselpud · 13/12/2006 22:47

ha ha ha or should that be ho ho hoho

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