DD (13) has played various instruments over the last 6 or 7 years, most recently taking up the flute. Last term she didn't really practice, sometimes said she was enjoying playing, sometimes saying she wasn't, at one point said she would like to take an exam, but then in the holidays she said she didn't want to continue. By this time it was too late to cancel this term's lessons - you have to cancel before the end of the term in which you want to finish. So I have cancelled lessons from next term, but have just paid over £100 for lessons until Christmas. There's a 'no refund' policy for late cancellations.
She's just moved up to her new school (we are 3-tier so she is still with friends from her previous school). She seems to have settled in well, no major issues. But this evening we've had tears - her lesson is timetabled for 5 minutes into lunch break tomorrow. She didn't go last week. She's worried that the canteen will be shut when her lesson finishes, & that she won't be able to find her friends (it's a big school) as they hang out in different places every day. Everyone's flute lessons are in the lunch hour. She's refused a packed lunch. She says she feels like I'm forcing her to do something that she doesn't want to do.
I'm happy for her to stop the lessons, but ideally I'd like her to give this term a try, ask the music teacher to give her some music she'd actually like to play rather than the exam stuff & scales etc. She's been learning for about a year, but is a very good sight reader & so can have a go at Grade 1 / 2 / 3 pieces.
What would you say to her:
- OK, just don't bother going to lessons ? or
- try it and see how it goes ? or
- no you must go as I've paid for them ? or
- encourage her to go but ignore it if it's clear that she doesn't actually go (e.g. 'forgetting' her flute on lesson day etc) ?
- something else ?
DH is of the opinion that she must go.
I don't think I have the emotional strength to argue this one with her.
Feeble I know, but there must be more important battles than this. I'm going to sleep on it. WWYD?