Official Language of the EU
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the EU...rather than German which was the
other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year
phase-in plan that would be known as 'Euro-English'.
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of the'k'. This should klear up
konfusion and keyboards kanhave 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like
'fotograf' 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kanbe ekspekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always
ben a
deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent 'e's in the
language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kanbe dropd from vords kontaining
'ou' and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of
leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no
mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru!
And zen ve vil tak over ze vorld!