I think this is the hardest thing I've had to do.
DS1 (17) has been arrested AGAIN.
this is the second time he's been arrested in the last few months but he's had a few brushes with the Police ..Minor antisocial stuff mostly.
Bit of background
DS has always had a bit of an attitude and been a bit gobby, mainly as a front in front of his school friends and friends and anyone that'll look ....He was kicked out of school. Not for anything major, but they couldn't be seen to give him ANOTHER warning about his actions, his attitude, and just turning up to school when he pleased and doing what he pleased.
He then went to a unit.
He came out with very little in the way of GCSEs ...a couple B's the rest E's ungraded etc.
He's never wanted for anything , we've bought him clothes, given him money when we could, ( mainly me to be fair) giving him love and attention, taking him on holidays when we could afford it, nice trainers, nice coats etc.
Early hours this morn I got a missed call. Again my DS giving my phone number as he's dad is very " he got himself into this mess, he can get himself out of it " attitude, from the local police.
Theft of a motorcycle.
This is the first time he's been in trouble for anything this serious, the other time, a few months back, was for littering a cigarette butt, but because of the attitude of him , his refusal to pick it up and the frequent brushes with the law, they are sick of him and wanted to make an example.
He had to attend 8 sessions of a Youth Offending Scheme, talking about drugs, alcohol, taking responsibility for yourself, help in finding work, etc.
He failed to turn up to any of them .......his reasons " they ain't gonna send me to court for littering, it'll cost thousands and they've got bigger fish to fry etc "
Again.. DP has refused to bail him out , telling the police that no he won't be the appropriate adult, he's busy
I'm sick with a stinking cold and quite frankly don't want to again. I'm always wiping his fucking backside, mollycoddling him, doing anything to keep the peace and show him I'm always there no matter what. Last time ( for the littering ) I had to leave work early to go get him .....
He has no job,no intention of getting one, he got a Saturday job a few weeks back but he pissed off yesterday round a friends for a few days so it looks as though he had no intention of going to this Saturday job today, only getting it to keep us off his back I suppose.
He's 18 next month. He's fucked if this had happened then and I don't think he realises that.
I don't know what to do. He talks to me like shit...never to his dad...he's dad wouldn't stand for it, goes on and on and on and on about me giving him money until I feel bullied and pressured into doing it. Which I have done ....I'm sick of him and to be fair don't want to look at him.
I have 2 other children to think of, he's sworn at my youngest (7) and generally comes home to shit shower and change.
We do make him do the school runs as we feel if he can't contribute financially then he has to contribute in other ways whilst me and his dad work ....
What now???? WWYD ...they'll have to release him soon and I don't want him here. I know what'll happen, he will give me a filthy look because I wasn't there to wipe his arse again, shower, change then piss off out getting me worried til I beg him to come home.
Then what ??