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Partner having work burn out

1 reply

speedyfingers · 13/05/2015 21:09

My husband started a new job about 9 months ago. He has worked increasingly long hours, and over the past 3 months has become depressed and anxious to the point that this week he has been signed off work with stress. He is on anti anxiety medication, sleep medication and will shortly be starting a course of CBT.

I think that he needs to leave or scale down his job. But it is a scary prospect. He is nearly fifty and is a great dad to our 3 kids (aged 8, 6 and 3). But I can't let him suffer like this.

We live in an expensive part of south east England. I could go back work in various positions, but my realistic salary would not leave much after the cost of childcare.

One thought that keeps occurring to me is that we could move somewhere much cheaper, get rid of the pressure of having a mortgage, and both try to get jobs. We both have families in the north/ midlands of the UK, but we don't have parents or any relatives who are in a position to help with childcare.

But this is a scary prospect. Our children are very happy living where we do, and so am I. We moved to our neighbourhood 5 years ago and have made many friends, some of whom are very supportive, which I value very much - partly because of our lack of relatives who are able to help.

WWYD - use the capital in the house to make a move and hopefully a change for the better. Or stick it out where we are and hope for the best?

Thank you!

OP posts:
totallygone · 18/05/2015 09:24

Hi, I know you posted this a few days ago now, but didn't want to leave it with no responses.
I don't really have anything useful to say other than it really sounds like something needs to give in your situation before your DH ends up unable to work through illness. I say that as someone who has been signed off by doctors more than once due to depression/anxiety/stress.
Have you thought about the possibility of switching roles? You could work and your DH could stay at home?
I hope you find a solution soon.

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