Jump or be pushed?

[JustDriftwood]

A colleague and I have been suspended from work for using an internal comms system (think MSN messenger) to vent our frustrations about our manager. Yes it was wrong, no I didn't realise it was monitored.

So we have a meeting first thing Tuesday to see what they've uncovered and they'll make the decision as to next steps. Options are:

1. Slap on wrist, come back to work

1. Gross misconduct, summary dismissal

If option two happens, then I'll have to deal with it (nightmare really what with two young children and a DH just starting his own business).

But if option 1 happens, could I really go back and sit in a dept with a manager who knows I hate him? I'm under no illusions that it would be spectacularly unbearable, but should I do it until I find something else?

WWYD?? Would you walk away out of principle? Or would you go back, tail between legs and accept that you're someone's bitch for the forseeable?

Have you apologised? How that goes might make your decision.

Well, it depends. Were your views about your manager sound or mean for the sake of being mean?

For example, was it more about how he doesn't listen, is incompetent because of X, Y, Z or makes sexual advances... or was it more about how he smells weird, talks funny (i.e. just personal attacks)?

Yeah, what sykadelic said. If it was all work-related stuff, then maybe it needed saying. Manager should be capable of taking it on the chin & addressing the issues.

It also depends on your boss's personality. I had one for years who was very intelligent, hardworking etc but also 'on the spectrum' as in autistic/Asperger's and he nearly drove me insane. OP, when I read your post I immediately thought of this guy, I used to vent my frustrations with him to workmates all the time, though always just on text/IM.

Trouble is, the two things get mixed up - ie the work issues and the personal comments. So he's sticking to the letter of the law over working conditions & not letting you change your hours, well he's not just being inflexible, he's an arsehole, etc.

I'd stay if I could. You never know, the whole incident might change things unexpectedly.

Thanks all

I'm struggling to remember what we even vented about. Some I know had no context (just one line "grrrrr so annoying) regards something he'd just said, but I know that it sometimes did stray into personal areas

I'm worried about the repercussions if I stay. I have a number of meetings this week which I won't be able to attend due to suspension, so a lot of key colleagues will know what has happened. I can't offer an apology either as I am banned from contacting anyone.

Christ, don't you think this sort of thing has got out of hand? Suspended, banned from contacting colleagues - what did you do, steal the crown jewels, or get caught slagging off your boss? Modern managers seem to love putting on these quasi-judicial airs. What happened to getting all concerned in the office NOW, dishing out some reprimands/reprisals, get back to bloody work and I don't expect any repeat of this nonsense?

I went through a similar experience. I had a conversation with my supervisor about some extra curricular work that we had all been asked to do. I'd been in the job about 9 months and there was no mention of this extra work at the interview stage. It had just been sort of landed on us.
I told my supervisor that I didn't think I could do it. She said you have and I said I'd have to think about my position.
2 hours later she called me into the office and suspended me.
Anyway. I decided to leave. I had a meeting with her and another manager and pointed out all the legal problems with how they had treated me. The other manger was American and he had no idea of European Employment law. I just couldn't work with people like that any more.
I demanded 2 months pay in lieu of notice and a reference which I got.
At the time we didn't have any children and financially it was not a huge problem. I was able to get another job quite quickly.
Go to your meeting. Perhaps see if you can bring someone with you for support. Whatever happens start looking for another job immediately