Hello Mums,
I am currently a Year 1 teacher at a private school. I am getting married this summer. Some of my children have asked if they can come to my wedding (in fact one said to me, "it's the law. OK, well it's not the law, but it would be nice if you did".) I've explained to them that teachers don't invite the children they teach to their weddings.
Having said it is not the norm to them, I'm considering whether it would be a nice idea to invite them. There is one Portuguese parent who it probably wouldn't seem strange to, because when her son asked me if I'd come to his birthday and I explained teachers don't do that she explained to me that it is quite common in Portugal for teachers to come to their student's birthday parties so that's probably why he asked.
To give you some context I won't be teaching at the school next year, in fact although I really enjoy the teaching the children part I've pretty much made my mind up that I'm not going to teach at all anymore. I would only invite them to the ceremony because I don't feel it would be appropriate for them to hear the speeches, see the dancing etc! Numbers at the ceremony are not a problem because the chapel seats 300 and I have a small class so even if they all came and brought both their parents it wouldn't be a problem. I'd obviously explain that it was the children's suggestion and that I won't be offended if they don't come. There are already a fair few children coming to the wedding, and the children I teach are pretty well-behaved so I don't think a few extra would make it any more chaotic.
When I look this subject up online it seems a very touchy subject with some people, with their issues with it ranging from it being inappropriate to invite students to it being tacky to only invite people to the ceremony.
My reason for wanting to ask them is because some of them want to come. I wouldn't have thought of it otherwise and having had it suggested by them I quite like the idea because like other people who will be there they are people that I like and have enjoyed having in my life.
Worries:
- parents will feel they are letting down their child if their child wants to go and for whatever reason they can't come, e.g. holiday already booked.
- parents will think I'm angling for wedding presents (At private school I have noticed that you do get quite a few generous gifts. I really do not want presents from them, and would want them to know this without me expressly saying it (because then they'd known I'd thought about it!) It is not the usual case of 'Your presence is gift enough, but if you would like to get us something...' It is actually 'Don't get us anything.')
- the ceremony is in the OBE Chapel at St Paul's Cathedral, but I don't want them to think I'm just inviting every Tom, Dick and Harry because I'm showing off about where I'm getting married.
Obviously if I decide to invite them I'll check with the school first, because their advice is valuable and I will technically still be employed by them until September so if they don't like it I won't do it.
So imagine you are the parent of one of the 5 or 6 year olds I teach and you get the wedding ceremony invite. What do you think?