dinner party conundrum

[ThreeornotToThree]

We've got friends coming for dinner at ours on saturday. Originally invited 2 couples, all was confirmed now one couple has cancelled. Feel awkward inviting in anyone else at last minute (various reasons) so now not sure what to do. I'm not the most socially confident person and worry that having just one couple over for dinner will be a bit of a damp squib, it is the first time we have entertained them at ours, and only second time husbands have met (first time was dinner at theirs). And anyway I'm usually a much happier host with two or three other couples. Is it rude to suggest we eat out instead?? And if not, how do I phrase that?! "I'm socially inept and feel anxious about having two of you over, can we go out and rely on others for atmosphere" doesn't sound quite right..... god am I the only person that overthinks this kind of thing??

Would it be possible to re-schedule? Something has come up with your family. Profuse apologies etc.
If not, what are the finances of the other couple like? You could say you have heard of a lovely restaurant nearby and although you were looking forward to entertaining them, your friends have been raving about it and then ask them if they would consider trying it out with you. No harm done.
Unfortunately they may say no.
You could add that you were planning to ask them back to yours for coffee afterwards. ( this may not happen if you are cosy in the Restaurant)
You will all be nicely full of food and wine by then, so maybe more relaxed.

You seem quite anxious.
Perhaps it might help you to combat your Social Unease, to have some counselling or maybe go on a Mindfulness course.

No, I would be a bit surprised to have an invitation to dinner turn into an eating out scenario - sorry.

Do you have a good set of friends you could ask to fill in at the last moment?

I don't think you can really suggest going out.

oh now i feel really bad, I explained we were down to four and offered up the option of eating out or sticking to eating in, felt like time was running out, and we are now going out. thank you for the replies... I think it is OK but i was worrying about it all night last night. holeinmyheart, I shall consider mindfulness, thank you. i sometime wonder if I am slightly on autistic spectrum, tend to make horrendous social gaffes and don't realise until later what I've done. but then feel dreadful. people describe me as assertive and intimidating but on the inside I'm constantly worried about not f*cking up or saying the wrong thing.
anyhoooo..... have a lovely weekend all, thank you again for responding.

I wouldn't mind, OP. It's not as though you get a dinner party invitation and think, "oooooh bargain, I don't have to pay for dinner". I'd much rather a change of venue than a late cancellation, myself. Hope you have or had fun.

I am glad things are resolved.
Threeornottothree anxiety and feelings of inadequacy as a person can ruin your life as you don't appear congruent to others. You are also miserable yourself if you feel the need to conceal the real you. Being socially anxious makes you feel uncomfortable and you are in danger of blurting out daft things.

I like and feel comfortable with people who are themselves, who appear mainly relaxed and cheerful and don't critise others behind their backs.

Feelings of anxiety in another can rub off on the person they are with.One of my sons -in -laws Father is quite shy and jumpy. I think they are very nice decent people but he is so twitchy when we are with him. He is exhibiting such feelings of shyness, lack of self esteem, etc ? That it is painful. He certainly isn't relaxed and after a while it starts to rub off on us.
He is a hugely successful and well off man, who has done amazingly well and has a lovely family. He once confessed to me that he had some poor degree from a not top notch University. I must say I was surprised that he was some how depreciating himself to me.
My husband and I are relaxed socially. I don't mind speaking in front of 800 people etc. We are as successful and also have a lovely family. I don't want anyone to be shy with us. I try hard to be congruent.
I feel very sorry for shy people as it is a nuisance.
I feel that I am as good as anyone else and if people can't accept me for what I am, then they can bugger off.
That sounds aggressive, but I am not, and I have lots of issues that I work on improving, constantly.
Mindful, helped me become more congruent and so did counselling. I never had much individual counselling but went on several counselling courses, and you receive counselling on them. It was an eye opener and made me realise that I was as good as anyone else.

If the prospect of a Dinner Party makes you this anxious then I do think that you need help to change and become more confident.
Xx