Grandmothers wedding ring

[JacksWastedLife]

Today my mum offered me my dear late-grandmothers wedding ring for my upcoming wedding. I bought a cheap £30 wedding ring that I'm happy with (we really couldn't afford to have a big flashy wedding and in that, rings took a back seat too in the hope of us getting new ones if they ever break) but now I think it might be more sentimental as I was close to my grandmother and I will always look down and remember her, and she will play a big part in my wedding even though she cannot attend. She died a few days after I gave her the invitation so I'm still coming to terms with her not attending.

My parents offered me it but I feel bad as its my mums and she inherited it. Also my sister is recently engaged and I think she would be hugely pissed off if I had the ring and she didn't.

Would you keep the ring you are happy with and make it have it's own sentimental value**? I feel like I'm offending my mum and grandmothers memory by refusing but I feel cheeky if I accept.

** I know with such a cheap ring it may break or something but in the future I could get a sturdier one.

I think you should talk to your sister, and if she's ok with it, then do it if you want. I have my grandmother's engagement ring. My sister was already married by the time we thought of reusing the old ring, and in any case she wanted to design her own, but she was happy enough for me to have it.

I don't feel I'm depriving my mum of it, as she just had it sitting in a jewellery box and would much rather it was being worn and appreciated. In any case, being morbid, I would have inherited it some day anyway.

You sound like a very considerate person op. Talk to your sister about it, after all there is only one ring, her death was after your invites . Perhaps your mum has something else waiting for her?

Thank you both for your advice. My sister is only very recently engaged and hasn't even started planning or thinking of a date etc (she told me this last week so doubt much has changed since then) but she can be very petty at times, and I know this is a big deal so can't see the conversation going very well if I'm honest.

I'm going to ask my mum if she's being serious and if she would seriously like ME to use the ring, if so I will be honoured. I think I'd be absolutely gutted if they offered it to my sister and she accepted because I refused. It's my mums inheritance so ultimately her choice I reckon?

If she decides not to give it to me now to save problems/arguments then that's fine too of course. The more I think about it the more I feel terrible for saying no when it really would be an honour.

Could you have your grandmother's ring made into two new rings, with some extra gold added?

IMO, a wedding ring is something that your partner should supply - though it could be an heirloom from his side. It seems odd to me to supply your own. I wear my MIL's engagement ring. I wouldn't have suggested wearing my DM's ring, though if I had it, I'd wear it on another finger, not as an engagement ring.

I think I'd keep the ring you've bought, as that is sentimental for you and your DH, and wear the heirloom wedding ring on your other hand.

well I bought the rings, must ask the git for the money back, although gold was much cheaper in those days. Surely the point is that 30 quid is what the op and her dp budgeted together.

OP sounds like a plan

People do tend to be shocked when I tell them how much the wedding cost in its entirety as it is on a budget, we spent all our wedding fund on the honeymoon.

I am doubting it again as there's really no point falling out with family members over it and I do think it would cause arguments. I do love the ring we bought and it symbolises, for me, a time where we may not have had a lot of money but we made up for it with love, as cheesy as it sounds.

I think I'd let your Mum know that you are happy with / love the one you've got. That you are touched, and honoured she's offered it you, and maybe you would be happy to have it as a keepsake but don't want it as a wedding ring.
You have to understand that your Mum may well offer it to your sister then though, but if you are fine with that, then all is well.
I don't think I'd discuss it with your sister though - it's your decision and your Mum's to make, not hers.