Invitations giving people the choice of three different dates

[shockthemonkey]

We live in a tight-knit community and after many fun invitations out, have drawn up a list of people we would like to have around to us.

It comes to 36 people and can only really manage dinner for 12 or 14 max. So we have blocked three dates in our diary. They all happen to be quite close to state holidays.

How do we manage this and how do we word the invite? I had thought to give everyone the three dates, and to ask them to tell us which of those dates they currently have free.

Would this look funny, not very courteous?

The alternative is to split the list into three groups, and just invite the usual way, proposing one date only. I am afraid we might get quite low uptake on the dates around the holidays (what with people liking to take long weekends away). On the upside we could manage the best mixing of couples (there is a language barrier to manage too).

Thanks for advising,

You're having three dinner parties and purple choose which one they go to? Is that right?

I mean people, not purple!

But you can only afford to have one dinner party? I don't understand this.

I wouldn't let them choose. If they tell you they're available and then you don't invite them it would look a bit rude.

I've done this, it worked and wasn't a problem. I text or email with dates and work it out once people come back with the dates they can do. Don't tell people what you're doing, just confirm with them all once you've worked out appropriate dates.

Christ, that's right, we're giving three dinner parties to hold all the numbers (when I said "we can only manage 12 or 14 max" I was referring to space constraints not budget).

Hobbes, everyone invited will be coming if they have one of the three dates free! They'll just be spread over three dates... It's like we're saying: here are three dates, pick the one you prefer to come have dinner with us.

Whichever date they pick, they are invited for that day (even if everyone picks the same date and we end up doing a buffet, as Alpaca suggests may happen).

Good to know it's worked for you Bowler.

Was just wondering whether wording on invite might look funny...

Just keep it simple 'we'd love to have you both over for dinner. Can you let me know your availability for 19th April, 29th April or 7th May?' (I'd say 'both' just in case anyone thinks you've invited their kids as well)

That'll do it, thanks Bowlers!

Doodle is useful for this sort of thing.

Ha! I just came on here to say for Chrissakes don't do a doodle (although I love it for practical/worky stuff)

I agree a systematic text/email round. Don't let them know who else is invited either i.e. not a group text/email.

Are you sure you can bear to have 3 dinner parties so close together?

Haha, Mary - it's certainly divisive. I love it but I have a good friend who flatly refuses to fill in doodles for social events. She tells someone her available dates and they input them for her...

It'll be hard work but fun! Intrigued about Doodle now -- never heard of it.

I did the invite as suggested using bcc (so no-one can see who else is on the list). So far there has been no unmanageable "bunching", ie uptake nicely spread over the three dates.

A potential language issue on one of the dates will be resolved by seating I am sure.

Thanks again,

Doodle is brilliant and I would use it.