Play date

[wwyd123]

My DS(6) went on a play date afterschool on Friday. He went to friends house and then he tells me the two boys went to the park alone (I believe him, I asked if the boys mum knew and he said yes as he checked it was OK to go. He confirmed it was just the 2 of them no older siblings ect)

1. I am interested to hear if people think IABU to be upset/anoyed by this. Although this isnt an AIBU because I dont think I am but just wondered what others think.

2. WWYD? speak to the mum? and say we dont let him go out with out a grown up. Or just declinbe future invites? I have already accepted an invite for a day trip in the holidays

Probably just decline in future and if they asked why, tell them.

2 6 year olds going to a park nearby wouldn't bother me. Why are you so worried? Is it a dodgy area?

Where was the park? If it was v close I wouldn't mind but I would probably prefer it if the parent had checked with me first. It would be completely unheard of in the village I live in - most parents are still walking them to school in Year 6!

Interesting to hear it wouldnt bother the pps. The park is close no main roads to cross. We are in a nice area (of a big city) but parents here would also walk DC to school until starting year 6. I haven't seen children here in parks with out adults until they are about 9 or 10.

If the parents had checked with me I would have said no and that I would come and take them.

Hmm, I probably wouldn't have been v happy but if it was one that you can practically see from home/call to then I wouldn't have minded too much - I am probably contradicting myself now! There are a few estates round here where they are build around the recreation area and I would mind that I don't think.

No 10 year olds would be in the park on their own here.

Can she see them from her dining room window or something? Or is it totally off somewhere else?

She should have asked you I think, either way.

Iit's not appropriate to have let them out without an adult without asking you if that ws ok.

It would bother me massively. I was anxious today at my 8yr being outside the garden playing.

Do they need to cross any roads? Can she see park from house...But generally I wouldn't be happy no.

There house backs on to the park,m so no roads to cross, however it is a big old park, fields, duck ponds, football pitch, skate park ect. There are big trees/hedges between the houses and the park. She wouldnt have been able to see them

*their

Drowing risk then so way too young for me.

If she's too dumb to realise and supervise, then no, you don't accept any further invitations.

To be fair wwyd you are the parent, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

The ponds are shallow I have to say, the water would likely come up to your knees

I know I am the parent, which is why I am not asking if IABU being unhappy. But was interested in what others thought. But my WWYD is realy what is the best way to discuss it with the other mum, or not too. And what about the day trip I had already agreed to

Plenty have drowned in that amount of water.

It's fairly common here, we have a sort of semi rural town with outlying ponds.

Would you let him out on his own to go to that park? If the answer is no, then don't be swayed by somebody else.

It's embarrassing, yes. I've had to say it to people who wanted my dd to do sleepovers when she got up three times a night for cuddles/drinks at age 8. You see to the needs or your dc. Regardless of what anybody else thinks.

But no, I don't think it's safe to let a 6 year old out unsupervised in today's world, unless it's a case of seeing them in the park from your window.

You clearly have natural doubts - go with your instinct.

I think it's too young for a city.

And I think it's wrong for the hosting parent not to check with you, because s/he simply wouldn't know your DC's level of maturity and experience away from adults.

I would always check with the parent before letting visiting children go off unsupervised until secondary school age.

I let my 9 year old go to the park by himself or with a friend (who has permission from their parent) but if his 6 year old brother wants to go too then I would take him myself.

No 6 is too young

She should have checked it out with you first and then you would have at least been able to explain that he isn't ready

Well, you can get the arse with me if you like but I was on your side.

Buzzard - you've given good advice. I dont' see anybody being anything but gratefuly for your contribution.

Sorry sqibble being touchy perhaps? It's just that good parents (which OP appears to be) always seem to question themselves.

Buzzard I dont have the arse honest. I was agreeing, I am his parent and I am happy with my decision that he is too young to go out alone. I keep thinking "What was she thinking?" and wondered if others thought it was OK. But it isnt OK with me. How do I aproach this with the mum? the day out I have already agreed to?

Op, I think you ask exactly what the day out involves - and do a bit of a risk assessment in your mind.

But it's not normal where I am (posh land) to leave your six year old with anybody.

Then decide if it's a no go. If it is just say, no they're not ready for this.

But dont' be risking your dc's life/health because somebody else wants you to find a distraction/playmate for their dc.

This is all in your control. There are times you need to step up for your dc, and this is one of them.

Buzzard - it's really scary isn't it. I'd be really annoyed actually where we are if this happened to us.

No no no and no...and I would be annoyed about it. Actually I'd be stunned - that would just NEVER happen where I live.