Feeling pretty miffed, am I being unfair?

[Septbaby]

History - DH very recently had a traumatic family bereavement and is finding it very hard to deal with, is infact in touch with bereavement counsellor to help him through.

Has just come home after trip to local tattooist saying he has booked himself in for a 'memorial' tattoo in a couple of months and it's going to cost upwards of £200. Normal circumstances wouldn't be an issue however I'm on mat leave and we are extremely (maxed overdrafts and borrowing money from parents) broke, I don't go back for a couple of months so we aren't going to be flush for a fair little while and this is where my bone of contention lies.

He is really not coping well and this is something he really wants to do to help him in his grieving process, but I can't help feel that right now it's just not a responsible thing to do, I literally have been wearing one pair of shoes for the past 3 months because we just can't afford for me to buy any. I just don't know how to approach this without launching him back into his pit of darkness.

I'm not looking for opinions on tattoos please, just on whether it's worth me possibly catapulting him back into the hell that we've been living in for the sake of a couple hundred quid that we could probably scrape back once I'm back at work.

Perhaps you could persuade him that its a good idea to wait for the first anniversary of the death? That would be sensible from a cash point of view, would be be a thing to mark the anniversary, and also the fact that its not usually a good idea to permanently mark your body when you aren't doing too well mentally, you might well regret it.

Good suggestion from madreloco

I would be fuming too. What a waste of money when you need it so Much

If you're borrowing money to survive, then surely there quite simply isn't £200 to spend? Where does he think the money will come from? You need to do a budget and let him show you where the tattoo money fits in.

I know, my common sense head is telling me to simply put my foot down but honestly it's been the worst month we've been through because of how low he has sunk and I'm so torn between being a bitch who says no and potentially causes this nightmare spiral to continue or let him have something to focus on if it's helping him grieve.

I do like your idea madre so I might give that a go

Don't say no to it. But say that it's a good idea. Say that you want to be part of it with him. That having it done on the anniversary of the death or on their birthday would give it even more meaning and that you want to be there when it's done. So you can be part of it with him.