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Original poster

Not sure what to do about angry mum on school run

28 replies

Chocolategirl7 · 24/03/2015 06:17

Really not sure what to do, so would welcome any advice.

One day a week, I park in a residential road ( in a parking bay) near school. It's the quickest place for me to get to from work and enables me to get to school to pick up DD in time. If I parked anywhere else on this day, I would be late ( or would have to leave work earlier). It works and is only one day a week for about 20 mins.

A couple of weeks ago, I was a bit late. I wasn't stressed but there were a couple of mums and preschool children on scooters in the middle of the road. When I approached in the car, they made no effort to move out the way or to one side so I swerved round them. I wasn't going fast, was well aware of the children and kept my distance. I parked up and ran off to school. On the way back, this mum had gathered a few of her friends and some random other man and had a go at me for driving too fast. I responded (stupidly) by saying, I was a bit late, but what I meant was that I was annoyed that she hadn't got out the way it made any effort to get her child out the road.

Anyway, she was quite aggressive, clearly upset and upset me and my children and the other two I collect on that day. I was dreading going into school again in case she started off again but she didn't. My children were a little anxious about her.

This week, I parked there again. Didn't see her in way in and on way back to car, she was taking up all the footpath and so my kids and I went over the grass so we weren't having to squeeze past her. By the time we all got in the car she was past us and walking down the middle of the road again.

I waited a few minutes ( till she had reached the but where there is pavement ) and pulled out and drove along behind her. Again she wouldn't get out the middle of the road and I didn't want to serve around her again. She started shouting at me to park somewhere else and got quite threatening. I actually thought she was going to get physical ( although I was in tne car) but I shouted back 'you are in the middle of the road'. She then proceeded to walk as slowly as she could down the middle of the road so I couldn't get past.
I was upset, my kids are very upset and asking me to park somewhere else. I've just got a new (to me) car and am worried she will damage it.

I think she's being out of order but appreciate it must be annoying when people park there. But it is convenient and I only do it once a week. However I don't want this every week and I don't want my car damaged.

Any ideas on how to resolve amicably?

OP posts:
rootypig · 24/03/2015 06:22

She started shouting at me to park somewhere else and got quite threatening.

That's something I'd be reporting to the school, tbh. She is intimidating you and your children.

base9 · 24/03/2015 06:25

Yup report her to the school. That it well out if order.

Nolim · 24/03/2015 06:28

Is it annoying but legal to park there? Then try to ignore her. Easier said than done i know.

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merrymouse · 24/03/2015 06:32

Very difficult.

Could you politely ask her to explain her difficulty, give her time to talk herself out and then apologise?

You aren't in the wrong from what you have said. However your goal is to diffuse the situation so you can park, not be in the right (and from the sounds of her it would be a difficult argument to 'win' - she enjoys a fight and she'll keep going while there is someone to fight).

Original poster
Chocolategirl7 · 24/03/2015 06:33

It's perfectly legal. I wouldn't park there if it wasn't. I did ring school and log the first incident but I didn't know who she was then. It wasnt in school grounds and I don't want to get her into trouble if she's having a hard time. But I don't want her to shout at me and intimidate my kids. Hmm

OP posts:
rootypig · 24/03/2015 06:35

Re the parking - is it legal? why is it annoying? must she walk in the road, or is there pavement?

rootypig · 24/03/2015 06:35

Cross post Smile

Original poster
Chocolategirl7 · 24/03/2015 06:36

I wondered about writing her a letter?apologising that my driving upset her but asking her not to blame me for the bigger issue and not to shout at me in front of my kids. I'm not good at confrontation ( I tend to cry when I get angry) and would rather not deal with her face to face!

OP posts:
jaynebxl · 24/03/2015 06:39

I wouldn't write to her. I'd go see the head. We have soke parking issues around our school (not me as we are close enough to walk every day) but sometimes the head asks the PCSO to be present at pick up time to provide a calming influence. I'd be asking the head or the local PCSO about this.

NorahDentressangle · 24/03/2015 06:42

Most housing estates don't have adequate parking, though if you are only there for minutes then drive off it shouldn't bother folk. Are you sure there is nowhere else.
I am surprised no one else is using a space handy for the school. Perhaps others have been scared off.
Where do others park?

Debinaround · 24/03/2015 06:44

What a bitch.
She probably has nothing going on in her life and is having a go at you for a bit of drama.

When she is walking in the middle of the road is it only you she is holding up or are they cars behind you?

As much as I would be tempted to lean on the horn till the cow moves her backside I think the best thing to do is ignore her. She us trying to intimidate you and inconvenience you so if she is not getting a reaction from you she will probably give up and find someone else to annoy.

rootypig · 24/03/2015 06:46

Oh god no, never write anything down. I think your options are ignore, or report, or both.

But as she is upsetting your children, I would simply report. You have done nothing wrong.

Hissy · 24/03/2015 06:47

Whip out your phone the next time she starts shouting at you and record Her
Show that to the head

MythicalKings · 24/03/2015 06:50

If it's a quiet residential road with little traffic maybe the residents are used to it being safe. It may be a road where children are usually safe to play out.

She isn't being reasonable but maybe she and the other residents are totally fed up with strangers using the street as a car park.

She's deliberately walking in the road to hold you up and "encourage" you to park elsewhere. I don't think she'll stop unless you report her to someone.

Tanfastic · 24/03/2015 06:50

I'm surprised you manage to get the same spot all the time, its a fight around here for the parking near the school.

Why does this woman walk on the road, is she being deliberately awkward or are there no pavements?

Do other parents park there, are they having similar problems?

Original poster
Chocolategirl7 · 24/03/2015 06:51

The school has a car park and community centre parking next to it and they've set up a park and walk from not to far. The road is a cul de sac - maybe 25 houses - but it's closer for me coming from work and means I don't have to get through two sets of traffic lights and queue - when I haven't got much time on this particular day. Other people do park there. Maybe 3/4 other cars when I am there and I'm sure it's like that most days. It's just the quickest given the direction in coming from - which is not the direction most other people come from.

There is some pavement and some grass verge. It's not designed for a large volume of traffic but it is very close to a school.
Thanks for your replies!Smile

OP posts:
nightswift · 24/03/2015 06:55

Where does everyone else park? You can't be the only one dropping a DC off at school- you could go for the safety of the herd.

Personally i wouldn't have driven round a group of small kids first time - i would have wound down my window or jumped out the car and said i needed to park please.but i am nervous around small kids scooters and roads! She is prob running a campaign ( either real or in her head) to ban cars within x m of the school and you just don't know you are being protested against!

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 24/03/2015 07:00

I think jayne has some good advice. The local PCSO has spent quite a bit if time outside out local primary.
Good luck.

NorahDentressangle · 24/03/2015 07:04

Are you in a black Range Rover with bull bars? Grin

NorahDentressangle · 24/03/2015 07:06

Do you drive down the cul de sac and do a u turn?

Not good for residents if their DCs play outside.

I can see she is being unreasonable and unpleasant but wouldn't want cars crowding my quiet street either.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 24/03/2015 07:09

Bit if time = bit of time Blush

Original poster
Chocolategirl7 · 24/03/2015 18:30

No I don't drive a black Land Rover! And I don't do a U turn. I pull into a parking bay, then reverse out when I'm leaving. All carefully and sensibly. There are often other children in bikes cutting through this way so I'm very aware of watching.

I spoke to the head today. She didn't sound entirely surprised when I told her where the issue was (hopefully that means I'm not the only one she has a go at) but the head is going to ask the PCSO to check it out at pick up time!

Much appreciate the advice. I was feeling really bad about it!

OP posts:
EngineDriverInABunnySuit · 24/03/2015 18:35

If she lives in that road it sounds as though she has the hump about you parking there and is making a really big deal about your driving too fast, but that is clearly a red herring. She just doesn't want you to park there. but if you are parking perfectly legally you are doing nothing wrong.

If you can bear it I would just play her at her own game and crawl along really patiently and really slowly behind her, without giving her the perverse pleasure of showing any anger or irritation at what she is doing.

If your child is old enough to operate your phone's video function you could record it (or get a car cam) so that is she keep this up and tries to threaten you by saying she will tell the police you are driving badly you will have filmed evidence. Also if she tries to damage your car in any way while you are parked, then you will have evidence that she is harassing you and deliberately trying to cause an obstruction.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 24/03/2015 18:48

Hmm, I would be a bit miffed if people started using our cul de sac as a car park. Most people buy houses in such locations so that their kids can play out in a relatively traffic free environment. Having strangers parking there puts the mockers on that.

Obviously you are not doing anything wrong legally, but you are being a bit antisocial I think.

chinstrappenguin · 25/03/2015 09:51

I live near a school. The school was there when I moved in. I accept people will park (legally) outside my house. It is annoying sometimes but if you live near a school you have to expect cars!