Most members of my DH's family seem to think that because I, like them, am white and British that it is perfectly socially acceptable to spew racist and homophobic comments in my company and I need some sort of strategy to cope with being in their presence, since unfortunately I can't avoid them.
I spent the afternoon with my SIL and MIL on Saturday and my head is still reeling from it. Far too many examples to list them all but there is constantly snippy, vile remarks or certain words or terms spoken in a completely derogatory manner which they seem to manage to get into every conversation, eg, “all the immigrants” (shoehorned into every conversation which touches on anything to do with overcrowding/school places, etc, “well he’s Somalian, isn’t he?” (the explanation for her DS’s friend's “weird” name” – I mention one of my DD’s friends who has a Chinese name: “Who? What kind of name is that? Well at least its not just our school then”); talking about the cute boyfriend/girlfriend dilemmas of the year 5’s :“I know her Dad, can’t wait to tell him his daughter’s seeing a black kid, hahaha!”; about her DH recently shopping by himself “some GAY bloke tried to chat him up in the shop, ewwww!” – I knew this already, her 9 year old DS having already relayed this to us days ago in exactly the same derogatory tone as his delightful parents. 
They have always been loud-mouthed, opinionated bigots but the amount of racist and homophobic comments is starting to make me really stressed in their company and I need to work out how to cope with it. I’m also very concerned about this sort of language being used around my DC.
My DH is nothing like them (obviously, or I wouldn’t be with him) so I had a good rant about them when I got back home. Whilst he shared my horror he is resigned that they are quite openly racist and homophobic, saying that, unfortunately, it seems even people our age (40’s, as is his sister and her equally bigoted DH) are becoming more racist however where most would largely keep those comments to themselves, his mother and sister are (proudly) outspoken.
When I finally blurted out that they were perhaps being a bit racist (after they started moaning about the proceeds of Comic Relief not being solely used to help this country – not the worst they’ve said, but the final straw at the time) I was shot down in flames and decided to keep my mouth shut lest an argument ensued. That said, if they ever say anything when either of my DC are present I will have no hesitation in telling them I don’t want that sort of comment being aired around them but what am I supposed to do the rest of the time?