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Original poster

No wedding reception

17 replies

KicktheBride · 13/03/2015 16:33

We're getting married in a couple of months and we've just about finished the invitations. The wedding has cost under £600 including wedding dress, suits, ceremony, make up etc. We didn't want to spend much as we couldn't afford to. The reason for this is we are heading straight off on our honeymoon (and taking DS too so familymoon?) and when I say straight off, I mean we fly a few hours after the ceremony so will be heading back home to grab our cases and going. We will celebrate there and it'll be our first holiday in 5 or 6 years.

Anyway, to save arguments we are actually inviting people to the wedding so not "eloping" or doing it secretly. But we aren't having a reception. So on the invites where it says "afterwards" what the hell am I supposed to put? We couldn't afford to put a party on or hire a room just for us to not even attend..

OP posts:
IStopped · 13/03/2015 16:44

How many people are you inviting? If it is just immediate friends and family then you could just tell them personally. Are you going to have a celebration at another time? How about going out for breakfast beforehand?

BackforGood · 13/03/2015 16:48

Option 1) Use invitation cards that don't say 'Afterwards..."
Option 2) You could put "We will be leaving straight from the ceremony to fly off on holiday. You are off course very welcome to eat together - these are the nearby pubs / restaurants / cafes
Option 3) If you are marrying in a Church, then you could probably use the Church Hall for a minimal donation to have a cuppa and a cake, surely, if people have come along to share your day

I also like IStopped's suggestion of meeting for a bite to eat first.

Does seem odd not to be able to do anything for your guests.

SoupDragon · 13/03/2015 16:52

If you are flying on honeymoon, put "unfortunately, due to flight times! We are unable to have a wedding reception after the ceremony."

Can you maybe find somewhere to have a glass of champagne and some cake? It just seems a bit flat to do the ceremony and then run.

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Weddings
FernGullysWoollyPully · 13/03/2015 16:57

I agree that going somewhere and giving everyone a glass of champagne to toast you and a piece of wedding cake would be nicer than shooting straight off. Your parents could host it? Or your best man?

Original poster
KicktheBride · 13/03/2015 17:02

Would it be ok to put please join us for drinks at insert somewhere nearby afterwards. It is just family (parents and grandparents and siblings) and they are all aware we're flying out a few hours later so have to go to the airport. Also would I have to book in advance and pay a fee to go to a pub for a drink or two if there are a few children attending (3 to be precise) or can we just turn up and buy drinks? I'm totally clueless.

OP posts:
tinkerbellvspredator · 13/03/2015 17:02

Would your parents want to host an afternoon tea at their house perhaps, that's technically traditional I guess.

niceandwarm · 13/03/2015 17:06

Could you have a celebratory party once you're back from your honeymoon?

IStopped · 13/03/2015 17:08

I think it would be fine to just go to a close by pub for a few drinks afterwards. That way your guest can stay on and socialise afterwards if they wish.

You could phone and ask the pub what they think you should do about reserving tables. (Don't mention the wedding). You would be able to walk into quite a few of the pubs in my town without booking as long as it was a weekday lunch.

What time would it be?

SoupDragon · 13/03/2015 17:09

Would it be ok to put please join us for drinks at (insert somewhere nearby) afterwards.

Yes, it would. You would have to check with the location to see about children. Often they are only allowed if you are ordering food.

I do think it is wise to spell it out on the invitations to avoid any doubt in the mind of the guests :)

Original poster
KicktheBride · 13/03/2015 17:15

The wedding is at 4 o clock but I know some local places allow you to reserve a part of the pub for a small deposit which could possibly be an idea? There is a nice cottagey type one but I hope the guests won't think us rude for leaving before they do. But it would be nice to be able to thank our families for coming to witness our marriage vows etc. We've just been stuck for what to do. Thank you for all the suggestions guys! :)

OP posts:
IStopped · 13/03/2015 17:24

If the wedding is at 4 then you could go for lunch beforehand. That way you can leave after the ceremony and give yourself plenty of time to get ready for your familymoon Wink. You could either meet for lunch or afternoon tea.

AuntieStella · 13/03/2015 17:26

If it's just family, then talk to them about what's planned.

Then 'drinks to celebrate at XX' (or similar) will make sense in context (and the exact wording on the invitation will matter less).

mugglewompster · 13/03/2015 17:29

I think a wedding with drinks/food in a nice pub before or afterwards sounds lovely.

Am so over wedding events!

Make it clear if you aren't paying for the food/drinks though.

Sparklingbrook · 13/03/2015 17:29

How fab. My kind of wedding. Smile Everyone gets to go to the important but then go home.

IStopped · 13/03/2015 18:34

It sounds like my kind of wedding too - nice and relaxed.

OP, Hope you have a great day Thanks

BackforGood · 13/03/2015 21:33

I went to a wedding a while ago, where the B&G had very little money. They got married in a registry office and then the 11 of us (B&G plus 9 guests) went out for a meal, which we all understood that we were paying for our own..... worded kind of, "afterwards Bob and Jen are having a bite to eat at such and such pub, and anyone who would like to join us can - they do a set meal at £x a head or you can order 'off-piste' if you prefer" tells you that it's a pay for your own, but other people will decide to make a day of it and go for a bite to eat. You just book a table then as you would for any birthday meal or whatever. You couldn't do it if you were inviting the world and his wife, but surely close family can all have a chat. You say you aren't having a Reception, but were wondering if people wanted to book a meal together somewhere, and then it's up to them.

Rightokthen · 14/03/2015 17:44

An idea is to cut the cake and eat it straight afterwards. Will take half an hour?

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