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Teen behaviour!

2 replies

ThePartyArtist · 05/03/2015 21:57

I recently contacted some friends to ask if I could go and visit them one weekend next month. They are a family I used to work for as a nanny years ago, and their child is now a teenager. She keeps in touch with me, calling me her big sister / best friend, confiding things in me, and coming to me for advice. I am touched she does this.

The parents are v busy with work etc. so I haven't yet had a definite answer about whether they are around that weekend for a visit, which is totally understandable. The teen has been texting me asking if I am definitely coming; I've replied that I need to know first from her parents whether they are around as I don't want to travel to the other end of the country & a city where I know no one else, if they're not around to see me that weekend.

She was really keen for me to visit, asking me to ring her mum and ask again; or asking me to text her mum during the working day. I texted saying I don't want to hassle her mum, she should talk to her parents about it and get back to me; then the next day I said is there any news on those dates? This is purely because I need to make plans and book trains before it gets too expensive. I got a really rude text back from the teen daughter saying along the lines of 'I am in a bad mood - stop asking me.' I thought this a bit much when she'd been really keen the day before (e.g. suggesting I ring her mum in work time to ask!) Now the logical part of my brain says it's a teenager, ignore the mood swings, don't expect her to be able to make the plans. But another part of me thinks well if that's the way you treat friends you don't deserve for me to bother with this, I'll do something else. What would you do?

OP posts:
Springcleanish · 05/03/2015 22:08

I think you are behaving in a similar way to the teenager TBH. If you want to visit the family, you should be calling the parents to see if it is convenient, not asking her to speak to them on your behalf. They are your point of contact, not the teen you used to care for.
The daughter probably does not see you as a best friend, despite what she says, but a safe adult. There is a difference, equally, why would you want to be friends with a girl you nannied, who is still a child? I can understand friendships forming once she reaches adulthood, but at the moment, she is still growing up, as she was when you nannied her.
Why don't you phone the parents and see what they say.

ragged · 05/03/2015 22:09

Oh, I'm 50:50.
Brusque but she may not realise how it sounds. Yes teens are self-centred!! You have to stomach the rough to enjoy the smooth.

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