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Original poster

Would you let somebody look after your child with this history of MH problems?

39 replies

Nannyplum2015 · 03/03/2015 11:30

Would you let your child stay overnight with somebody who 25 years ago tried to take there own life along with the lives of their children?

Person is a lot better now but still has low periods.

OP posts:
flipchart · 03/03/2015 12:33

I have 'mental health issues' and I work with children.
What you are describing is a completely different kettle of fish to mental health as I suspect most people would imagine.

In your case, no I wouldn't let her near my kids. Not at all.
Children's safety and welfare is always the priority.

SirVixofVixHall · 03/03/2015 12:53

I think perhaps this is your MIL? 25 years ago is a long time, a lifetime ago really. Her situation now is completely different, she has had help, and did reach a point where she could have her children overnight. The set of circumstances that led to the situation before are not going to happen again as she is a much older woman, without small children. (I am also assuming that this was a one off?) We can only comment on the brief info' in the thread, so it is tricky, but knowing someone who was in a similar situation and who now has her ds overnight twice a week, I will go against the common view here and say that I would allow it, if it is in fact a close relative, and if you feel that she has had, and still does have, enough help and support around her that she would seek help if she felt herself creeping towards despair. Could you have a really honest conversation with her about your misgivings?

TheWildRumpyPumpus · 03/03/2015 13:10

What do you actually foresee happening? If you left her with strict instructions to call you if she needed relieving at any point in the evening, do you think that she would willy-nilly proceed to harming your kids?

Was she get arrested and tried for attempted murder? Or did the police and medical experts agree that she was in the grips of mental illness at the time?

How old are your children? Are they capable of calling you if they weren't happy?

In one of your posts you said it's a shame that she still has to be punished all these years later. Well guess what? She doesn't.

WorraLiberty · 03/03/2015 15:52

She doesn't need to have your kids overnight.

Plenty of kids don't stay overnight with their grandparents (if that's who she is).

I agree with a PP who said, your kids aren't her therapy.

Weebirdie · 03/03/2015 15:55

The fact she was going to do it out of spite and anger make it way more than a person with MH problems so no - I wouldnt.

HungryDam · 03/03/2015 15:59

No probably not.

Branleuse · 03/03/2015 16:09

If I had suspicions that they would be likely to top themselves let alone take my children with them, then I dont think id be seriously considering them for childcare, but a historical suicide attempt 25years ago would have absolutely no bearing on my decision

keepsmiling2015 · 05/03/2015 18:26

I'm sorry to say I wouldn't. It just wouldn't sit well with me. No time to be precious or worrying about hurting feelings when it's about your child.

SocialMediaAddict · 06/03/2015 18:39

Nope.

expatinscotland · 06/03/2015 18:44

No. Especially as she still has 'angry spells' and tried to kill her children out of anger and spite. She wouldn't have mine at all unsupervised. I would tell her the truth. And you can better believe I would. Having lost a child I'm no longer shy when it comes to doing all I can to try to avoid losing another.

Purplepumpkins · 10/03/2015 06:48

im sorry in the circumstances you have describe no I would not. Sorry x

WyfOfBathe · 01/04/2015 20:49

Hmm, tricky one.

I was depressed as a teenager, and tried to kill myself (never anybody else though...)

That was less than 25 years ago, but I no longer have any MH problems. I would say you need to look more at what her MH is like now, but then it's the fact she tried to kill her children that would make me unsure.

SugarOnTop · 01/04/2015 23:01

Should a mother who has/had PND/psychosis and/or severe depression and tried to harm her child be allowed to keep that child once she's received treatment and improved - even though she may still have periods of low mood in the future? Hmm

it was 25 years ago. she is not the same person anymore. unless there have been any safeguarding issues from her regards your children then yabu.

if you don't like her and don't want her looking after your children then own that and face it instead of using that as an excuse.

DarkHeart · 03/04/2015 20:56

Sorry I wouldn't take the risk

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