Missing my ex friend

[Daisy321]

I am feeling a bit down about this at the moment, it probably sounds ridiculous but here goes...

I fell out with my best friend about 5 years ago. I know, 5 years is quite a while, and I was doing OK but just lately I've been missing her SO much. It was stupid really, she said some things about me which I found out about, plus she could be a bit bitchy sometimes, and it got to the point that I couldn't hold my tongue any longer, I HAD to say something to her. So I rang her up and told her I was angry and upset at some of things she had said about me (which she did admit to saying).

I told her I didn't want to fall out with her but she cried and hung up on me. Her DH then rang me back and basically screamed at me, told me I was horrible and that I am banned from ever speaking to her again. And that was that. I did see her every day in the school playground morning & afternoon but she never spoke to me. I have now moved away and I just miss her so much, I miss our friendship.

A stupid part of me thinks "send her a letter and tell her you miss her" but another part of me says just get over it!! WWYD?

Move on. The likelihood is that she hasn't changed and if she has hurt you in the past then she will do the same again. You were brave to tell her how you felt and she sounds like she reacted very defensively as did her DH.
You say you have moved so perhaps its time to make new friends and new beginnings, Good luck!

I think you need to ask yourself why you miss someone that was bitchy and was talking about you behind your back. Don't you think you deserve a better friendship than that?

Why not cultivate the friendships you have now or make an effort to find new friends?

It sounds like you miss the friendship you had when things were good and before you realised how unpleasant she could be? I fell out with someone and I do miss the good times, sometimes it aches but I don't really miss them because they treated me horribly. I think I ache more because of the realisation that everything we had was so false, or weak at any rate. I would try to let it go and focus on new relationships. It is hard though.

Ahh, you sound very sad about this.
I understand that, friendships are important and when they end it can feel like a break up with a broken heart.

I would say though, this is a long time ago now, so it's probably too late to go back. Also it doesn't sound like a healthy friendship in the end. And like a romantic relationship it is hard to get the good times back once something has gone wrong.

So WIWD is, grieve a little recognise the hurt, but also remind myself why it ended and why it wouldn't be good to go back. Then think about other friendships I have and how I can nurture these, what's important to me in friendship, and realise I'm older and wiser and I learnt a lot even though it didn't last.

Oh, I agree with Bartholomew, that's a fantastic post.

Thank you very much for your replies. You are all right, of course, I suppose its just because the friendship ended so quickly, one day she was there and then the next she's not in my life anymore.

Its strange because I have had other friendships which have ended or just fizzled out, so I really cant understand why I'm so sad, especially after so long I'm not the type who makes friends easily, I guess I'm just missing having someone there to talk to xx

Thank you Alma .

OP it probably is hard because it ended so suddenly, so all the memories are of good times, rather than gradually becoming irritated with one another over months/years.

You had those intense special times and then it was gone.

Are there other things going on now which have made you long for your friend?

May I just congratulate you on your use of the WWYD topic? Much underused imo.