ok - bit of a chunky descript - bear with me peeps. Need your advice.
A good friend from a previous workplace is getting married. She was my best work friend and we've kept in touch, but not every day etc. While I worked with her we socialised, but my partner suffers from mental health problems and we had to cancel a couple of social things at quite late notice (social events are a trigger).
Autumn last year, my friend announces her wedding to her long term partner - which was great news.
I got a message from her inviting me to meet with her at a wedding show and to have lunch together, which was a lovely thing to do - I hadn't seen her for ages. The announcement mentioned that my partner and I were invited to the whole wedding, ceremony and everything. For some reason, I got the impression I was going to be invited to be a bridesmaid/maid of honour etc.
At the same time, I offered to design and print their wedding invitations as a wedding gift - which she accepted and seemed excited about (I have an art and design background so this was a genuine offer to have something designed). We set her up on Pinterest etc. so she could find examples of invites she liked that would inspire the ones I would make for her and her partner.
I turned up at the wedding show - and my friend is there with her hubby to be and her mum and dad. I immediately felt like I was intruding on a family event - I have never met her parents before and they were all dressed up and I was in jeans (friend had said to wear jeans and nice top).
During the show, we walked around and talked about some of the stuff that was being displayed and my friend mentioned several times that she wanted my opinion on setting up the event etc, as I was arty and had a good eye, so I mentioned stuff that might work with her vintage theme. She mentioned bridesmaids etc but only in passing.
She kept saying she wanted me to help her with the planning and styling of the wedding - seemed enthusiastic about it. The subject of bridesmaids eventually came up and it turns out that her niece and her best friend from overseas will be her MOH and bridesmaid - which is fair enough and whilst it would have been nice to have been asked, it wasn't the end of the world.
We carried on with day and had discussions about bunting and which Pinterest invites they liked to give me something to start on as they wanted to send invites out asap.
So I went home with their ideas and spent two happy evenings mocking up their designs to celebrate their day. I sent them over via email and invited them to lunch on the Sunday so they could let me know their choice and any changes needed etc.
They turned up, we had a lovely meal and then my friend said she didn't want me to do the invites, that her family thought that professionally printed ones would be better for her etc. Ok well it felt a bit horrible as they were offered as a wedding gift but I understood and said it would be fine, not to worry. They left.
Next thing, I'm being invited to her hen party - which is a weekend in a very expensive European city. I initially said yes, but after costing it out, I realised it will come to about £500-600 for the weekend. I just can't afford it - my partner and I run our own business and we have nothing left over at the end of the month while we build our business. We haven't had a holiday since 2009 and whilst a nice dinner out with the hens would have been possible - hundreds of pounds on just me, isn't.
I had to call her and explain that I couldn't afford it. Felt pretty crap to be honest - I was in tears afterwards.
So now we have received an invite - to the evening only, and the invite is handmade.
So a double snub. Demoted to just the evening part of the day and they got someone else to hand make their invites. I know these things are trivial in the grand scheme of things - but we have had a tough time with money and stuff at home over the past year, and I only wanted to offer help and support to her for her big day. I was chuffed to have been invited to be a part of the whole day too.
I am now being pretty much ignored on SM and email too.
I feel like writing back to her and asking what has happened - I have obviously upset her but I don't know how.
I don't really want to go to the evening do now - I feel stupid as she made a big thing about having us there all day at first. I don't want to upset her in the run up to her wedding and causing her stress, but I feel at a loss to know what else to do.
She isn't taking my calls so an actual discussion would seem to be out of the window.
What would you think?