advice re dying mum

[l4j4eva]

Don't out me if you work out who I am. I am a regular with active threads going. Penguin bollards, pom bears etc

Mum been in hospital a while. She's now apparently on a down hill spiral- not able to feed really and not wanting to eat. Shuffling with zimmer very variable and scary to watch.

She's still being actively treated but isn't responding.

She's 90 mins away. I have busy responsible full on job as a partner. I feel v guilty about not pulling my weight at work and so have missed just 2 days since the start of the year when she nose dive at the weekend and I couldn't leave her till a knew she was safe.

I've been feels terrible today. Alone , guilty , teary etc. Not functioning well.

If I called my GP she'd sign me off but would that be the right thing to do??

What a horrible position to be in - i was lucky (if you can call it that) when my parents died (8 years in between) I wasn't working full time and I was able to drop everything and go. It really depends on how you feel and your relationship with your Mum, I think? My Mum died very suddenly and it was a complete shock - I just managed to get there before she went completely which I did find a comfort. My Dad had Alzhheimers and we h ad 2 or 3 scares when we t hought he was going to go, but didn't. I did find after the 3rd scare, when I decided not to go running and went out to dinner with some friends, that afterwards I regretted it and thought that if it happened again I would just drop and go. I did do that the next time, he seemed to be no worse than previously so I came home and he died that night - I've always felt happy that I had seen him that afternoon.

The only thing that is set in stone is that when it happens she will be gone. You need to think how you will feel if she goes and you weren't there? Only you know that........................

I hope what ever and when ever you can feel that you have done the right thing for both of you.

If you can get to be with her, I would. You'll never regret taking time off work to spend time with your mum, but you may well regret missing valuable time with her, just for work.

Im so sorry you are in this situation. Big hugs!

Absolutely get signed off. This is exactly the scenario that you need to be signed off.

My DM was terminally ill 5 years ago and I took the time off. It is fairer to your employer as they know they have to arrange coved for a block period. If you don't take the time off you will probably have lots of ad hoc days off which is more disruptive. Please look after yourself!