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Me and my 1st unborn child deserve better

30 replies

BeanieRoo · 24/01/2015 01:25

I'm nearly 12 weeks pregnant with my 1st child. I've been married to my husband for nearly 3 years but he has serious please daddy issues and is a computer game addict.
Although his job deals with making cables safe we have cables stretched across our front room and I'm constantly having to cautiously navigate my way around them. I've asked him repeatedly to make them safe so that I'm not in danger of tripping over them. The other day a new computer accessory that belongs to his dad was brought into our sitting room and I tripped over the cable whilst serving him dinner. He went mental shouting at me asking if I was going to apologise! I said I had nothing to apologise for and that it was him that should be saying sorry and seeing if I was ok. He then unleashed a torrent of really hurtful abuse including calling me 'a fucking ignorant stupid blind cunt' all because I tripped over his new precious game cable. When I could take no more and wanted him to stop insulting me I punched him in the shoulder and quick as a flash he punched me back. I'm carrying his child. I packed a bag and moved into my mums house and have been waiting for an apology ever since. That was 5 days ago and nothing. I'm so so hurt and angry I don't know what to do. How can I stay with a manchild who prioritises his game cables over the wellbeing of his wife and baby? Please help!

OP posts:
HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway · 29/01/2015 11:25

The cables would drive me utterly nuts. It is ridiculous to have to suffer your home looking like that. There's just no need for it. I think swearing at you in that foul way shows a fundamental lack of respect. You don't call someone a cunt and yell like that at them. It's horrible.

I think his texts sound cold and calculated - as though he is preparing some sort of defence/strategy/evidence. It does not much sound like he wants the relationship to continue.

Regarding the hitting, while I do think that to call you such vile names was unacceptable and shows a lack of respect for you, I think that you are the one who hit first and if you think that you are allowed to hit people and be protected from being hit back you need to think again. People may hit back if you hit them. You are surprised that he didn't think twice about hitting you back - but you didn't think twice about hitting him.

You tried to get out of a car on the motorway? please tell me you tried to strop off at a service station and did not try to exit a vehicle moving down a bloody motorway because if you did that then you are disturbingly reckless and anyone would be right to be concerned about that!

I think that you need to grow up. Both of you. You are about to become parents. You are too old and have too many responsibilities to strop about like tantrumming kids. You need to start communicating in an adult manner and behaving like grown ups - from the way you talk to each other, to the way you organise your home, to (and I know I'll piss off the gamers on here so sorry) being a 'gaming addict'. How does it go? - "when I became a man, I put away childish things."

There's relaxation and there's 'gaming addict'. One is fine, the other is a problem.

Pensionerpeep · 29/01/2015 11:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thumbwitch · 29/01/2015 17:13

I wouldn't bother going back to him, tbh.
He's not going to take any responsibility, despite admitting verbal abuse - apparently that's ok in his eyes - and he doesn't think much of you in general.
Stay away.
You might be volatile as well, but then even more reason not to bring your child into a volatile household - presumably you're calmer when you're away from him?

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Thumbwitch · 30/01/2015 02:09

I wouldn't bother going back to him, tbh.
He's not going to take any responsibility, despite admitting verbal abuse - apparently that's ok in his eyes - and he doesn't think much of you in general.
Stay away.
You might be volatile as well, but then even more reason not to bring your child into a volatile household - presumably you're calmer when you're away from him?

Thumbwitch · 30/01/2015 02:10

Whoops! didn't realise it had posted already, stupid computer!

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