How do you refer to...

[Gibbsbasement]

A STBX in RL. I am in the process of divorcing him and feel uncomfortable saying "my husband"; and it's not always in the right context to refer to him by first name or as "dc's father".

So what should I use? Is there anything in use? Other than swear words and without appearing rude?

It's fine to say ex once you are separated regardless of the divorce being complete.

Why not just ex-husband? even if you're not quite divorced yet, you soon will be. And everyone will then understand the relationship.

I could give you a million swear words for mine

I'm not quite comfortable with ex-husband either, because he's not yet.

I'm looking for something that could be used when stranger comes to the house to make a delivery or something like that, where the DC may overhear but it's not in the right context to say 'DC's father'.

It feels too early in the process to be referring to their DF as my Xh.

Twitter - out the the children's earshot I have no qualms about what to call him and neither do my RL friends.

Are you living together?

estranged husband?

Wouldn't estranged infer you are nc though?

Just ex-husband is fine, so long as you are formally separated. It doesn't matter if it's not technically true, unless you are dealing with something formal like a will or joint finances.

Jackie - No, not living together.

Jackie - No, not living together.

Gatekeeper - estranged seems a bit of a mouthful when speaking to the postie.

estranged in this context means 'no longer living with their spouse'

Yes, I think it's hard to say without a bit more context. Someone comes to make a delivery - it's for him? Are you being asked to sign for it or something like that?

What's the context where you need to refer to him? I'd say ex husband would be fine.

If it's just a delivery man or any other stranger you're not likely to see again just use husband if you're not comfortable using ex.

I would say husband in the context of a stranger coming to your house. No need to give any detail.

Or simply say 'ex'
or partner? Partner can mean different things and I don't think it has quite the same connotations as 'husband'

Thanks everyone. It's just down to my own feelings and not being quite at the point where I consider myself single. I need to get over it and say it like it is.

You're right; he is my ex. husband. (Thankfully!) I guess I just need to practice saying it more often.