Do I buy extra presents?

[Madamecastafiore]

We are going to family meal at the weekend. Aunt and uncle will be there. Cousin, son and maybe new boyfriend and his son and another cousin and child of woman he used to be married to.

We buy for aunt and uncle and cousin and her son. Never met her boyfriend or his son and stopped buying for other cousin when he moved out of home. Used to buy for him and his once girlfriend but ever got so much as as a thank you let alone gift for us or DCs.

Goodness no, just take something for the hosts. You'll end up spending a fortune.

No, I wouldn't.
Do you mean late Christmas presents ?
I don't think anyone would expect them.
Once families start expanding like this, then buying for Aunts and Uncles and cousins seems excessive to me though.

Sorry posted too early.

Should we buy gifts for man and child we have not met? I think not although maybe a token?

I just don't want to get into the routine of buying for other cousin as he could go on to have 4 children and I feel that at his age he should at least give me kids a token gift or a card on those birthdays or at christmas. His mother still puts his name on birthday cards but I think it's ridiculous at his age and if he expects presents he should be stepping up being an adult and buying his own gifts.

Child of woman who cousin used to married to will most certainly be expecting something (she spoilt and grabby) and cousin is a bit over touchy that she should not be treated differently to other cousins child

No, not at all. You'll be giving to cousins twice removed if you carry on. You may as well give something to Bertie from Birmingham while you're at it as he's a distant blood relative from the line 6 generations ago.

Stop! Hosts only, immediate family if you must.

"Stop! Hosts only, immediate family if you must." < does not include child of cousin who used to be married to x, y or z. NO COUSINS!! COUSINS ARE NOT IMMEDIATE FAMILY.

Goodo.

I'll pass presents out with a big smile plastered on my face knowing that I am doing the right thing!

Absolutely doing the right thing. If I bought for my cousins (I never see them) I'd end up bankrupt as I have so many . Do they get in touch with you at any other time? The key thing here, is if they are a major part of their life then yes, I would. If you only see them once a year and don't hear from them otherwise, then no.

Take a couple of bottles of wine and a tub of chocolate for the hosts though. If they decide to share then hey ho. If not, they look like the stingy people

I only see one lot at the hosts house as he moved back there after marriage break up. The other one who I normally buy for who has a new partner who I haven't met I see a couple times a year but they but Xmas and birthdays for my DCs.

Hmm. I wouldn't bother with the ones you never hear from, but I'd give something to the ones who remember your DC (just give something to their DC though, adults don't really 'do' presents). Sound fair?

She a SM and buys for my 3 so I don't mind buying for her at all.

I would get a big tin of roses or something I think, just a token. And I definitely would get something for a child (again, probably some novelty chocolates) if I was giving out presents in general.