With a toddler like this one?

[TortoiseInAShell]

He's 18 months old, a happy, healthy, blue-eyed, blonde-haired boy. BUT! He is a distraction derby to a whole new level.

He can open the toilet lock from the outside, open the toilet lid, and LOVES posting everything he can find into the toilet.

Now he's discovered he can pull out the kitchen chairs and climb onto the table, but doesn't stop there! No, he has to dance on the table standing up, or sway backwards on the chair tipping it onto it's back legs precariously balanced. As soon as I get him down and push the chair under the table, he's dashed to the other side and is already halfway up, giggling triumphantly as he goes. My fear is that he will soon master pulling chairs around the kitchen to get up onto work surfaces and empty all my plate cupboards or play with knives.

He can open the oven door to use it as a shelf to climb up and touch the gas rings. He can turn on the grill knob and open the door into the grill, all at his eye height. I can't leave him for 5 seconds to answer the door or nip to the loo. If I take him to the toilet with me he tries to post little things down the toilet behind me while I am sat on it, or in the 3 seconds it takes me to exit and shut the lid.

I seem to spend my whole time running round the house undoing his 'handiwork' and can't get anything else done, it can't wait because it's always urgent, for example him on the table resulting in my hair turning grey, not to mention my first coffee of the day often being mid-morning!

So my question is, would you somehow try to child proof the house (but not sure how without using handcuffs!) or begin to try and discipline him by speaking sharply and removing him to the naughty step, in the hope he can be trained to stop engaging in these behaviours? Currently I spend as much time out of the home as I can, but its not always possible to do this for health reasons as well as cost.

So good people of Mumsnet, what would YOU do?

We just put the knives in a drawer with a child lock on. We didn't have to give up bread and vegetables.

Stairgate him into one room - my living room is toddler proof - which contains ALL DA TOYZ. Like a giant playpen. Then you can at least pee in peace and answer the door.

Then only allow him in the kitchen when you can supervise him. Do this fairly often because you can't just shut them away from danger, you do also need to teach them No! Hot, Uh Uh etc. Just preferably not when you're frazzled at 5pm trying to get dinner on the table

Lots of jobs keep my 2yo fairly occupied - he's quite capable of putting the cutlery from the dishwasher basket (I remove anthing sharp first, although he's pretty good on the odd occasion I miss a peeler or something!) into the right drawer and he insists on doing it one item at a time which gives me space to do the rest of the stuff. A washing up bowl with water on a big towel and a few plastic cups buys me a good 10 minutes too.

OMG we have the same trouble. first child so well behave d and sensible that i got a totally false idea children. Sons exploits mean we have kitchen gated too, the living room is his safe zone but he isn't interested in toys much, and gets angry at being locked out. He prefers danger, climbs everything. We have to lock front door as he escaped and went for a wander up to the building site on the other side the road. He made escape climbing over a wall into neighbours garden. DH was gardening in our front garden at the time and sneaky escapologist had been gone for ten minutes before either of us realised...!!! Everything is locked and he has to be out if the house as much as possible. I can't wait for him to start school!