Hi. So first off, I am a male and know that this is a mums forum, but also can see from the members on here that it is a caring group who do not judge and I really do need some advice on a topic that may be against the beliefs of some on here so please do not judge me or my partner.
So to give you the situation, I have been with my girlfriend since the start of August and if I am honest I love her very much even in this short time. Things haven't always been easy and we have broken up twice, but never more than overnight during an argument.
Last month, she told me that she was pregnant. We discussed it and children isn't something she sees in her future and whilst I wasn't in complete agreement on the decision I agreed to support her 100% during the termination, which took place a month ago.
During the week of the termination she withdrew from me a lot (she had always said since the decision was made that she was 100% fine with it and what she was doing) and I only saw her on the days I took her to hospital for the checkup and termination (she didnt want to see me the rest of the time). I saw her again 2 days after it and knew straight away that she had struggled with this much more than she thought she would. I put all my effort into being there when she needed me and helping get her back on her feet. But I did have to go through the whole thing on my own (I do appreciate that its harder on the woman, but its not easy for us guys either).
Since the termination she has gotten back to normal. Things between us haven't been great all the time, but we are still together and still want to remain that way, and are both committed to putting in the effort to make us work. However she is still a little withdrawn (although not excessively) and the thing I find hardest to deal with that she won't stay over at my place or let me stay at hers.
We have talked about it and she has told me she is trying to deal with it but doesn't know if she ever will. I have told her that it hurts me and I don't feel as close to her but that I don't want her to feel under pressure and that we need to give it time, which may sound like pressure to some of you.
I know what she has been through is such a hard thing, and that there will be effects that she will have to deal with for the rest of her life. I have looked on forums elsewhere but anything relating to this is from the woman perspective and the responses are basically "if he brings it up then ditch him". But that is a very simplistic approach to take to the issue and us guys do have emotions surrounding this subject and relationships in general too.
I guess my reason for being here is looking for any help or advice that anyone can give, especially those who may have been in a similar situation (if its not too difficult to talk about).
Hope some of you kind people can help me