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Offensive conversations: husband's family - what to do?

2 replies

cherrytomatosoup · 27/10/2014 23:38

Just back from a weekend at my brother-in law's house, to celebrate a big family occasion. They made us very welcome. But they and their older children routinely used racist language and had some really offensive things to say about a rape case in the public eye at the moment. It was pretty disturbing to be around - including for my teenager DC who made a valiant attempt to take on some of the arguments. We're home now - but I'm really not sure what to do. DH made a rather faint-hearted attempt at one stage to offer an alternative view, but wasn't straightforward about their views being offensive and unacceptable. I'm troubled about this as I think he is better placed than the rest of us to do this. (And given his politics am surprised he lets this go...). I'm feeling bad for not having done more myself at the time - but felt pressure not to disrupt the family occasion/was dipping in and out whilst chasing after younger children etc.

His family's attitudes/behaviours are not things I want to condone or have our kids exposed to on a regular basis. I don't want to soft peddle on this but equally don't want to start a family feud/rift. What would you do?

OP posts:
Finola1step · 27/10/2014 23:44

Tomorrow have a conversation with your own dc. Tell them how proud of them you are. That they will meet people who have very challenging views from all walks of life and that will include family members. Tell them you admire their confidence in speaking up for what you all as a family believe is right.

You can not influence the extended family. They have their fees and they won't change. You can't keep this sort if stuff away from your dc all the time. Your dh is in a horrible position.

You can be bloody proud that you are raising kids who will speak up.

Finola1step · 27/10/2014 23:45

Views not fees

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